


Love, Coffee, and the sky blue Mushroom

by Momos_weird_thoughts



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Culmets - Freeform, Fluff, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Paul is shy and Hugh is confident, Self-Harm, Sex, everyone shares a big flat, the discovery is a coffee shop, the tags sound bad but actually the fic is also very cute i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 12:58:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13858236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Momos_weird_thoughts/pseuds/Momos_weird_thoughts
Summary: Hugh Culber has finished studying medicine and wants to just live for a while before working as a doctor. During a night out he meets the 23-year-old science student Paul Stamets, who has been beaten up in a back alley and somehow ends up staying on Hugh's couch. Paul has brains and looks and a bunch of problems, and Hugh accepts all of that into his big heart.





	1. The couch

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :D English is my second language so please don't be to harsh on that :)  
> (I've been learning it for 7 years now, so there should be nothing more than minor grammar mistakes and typos, I hope so at least)
> 
> I'll place TWs in the end notes of each chapter, so people who don't need them won't be spoilered.
> 
> Enjoy :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for TWs.

“Are you finished now? Piss off, fuckface! ...No, I said piss off and leave me alone!”, they heard a voice shouting and another voice replied unintelligible.

Looks were exchanged in the group of friends.

“I’m gonna have a look over there.”, Hugh said instantly.

A few of them sighed. 

“You don’t have to do that every time.”, Saru said.

“It’s 3 am, those are just some drunk idiots.”, Kat agreed.

“Tell me that they’re not brawling.”, Hugh replied and of course no one could.

“I’m coming with you.”, Michael said.

“Me too.”, Tyler grinned.

“Just go home, we’ll catch up then.”, Hugh smiled and lead the way of his smaller group into the direction where the voices had been coming from.

They found the right back alley. While Tyler chased after the guys who had been leaving when they appeared, Hugh rushed to the guy lying on the floor.

“Are you okay?”, he asked. He actually wanted to help him up, but the young man quickly got up by himself.

“Yes.”, he automatically said.

Hugh took a closer look at him. He was definitely younger than him and even though he was about his height, he somehow seemed much smaller. His hair was magically white blonde just like his brows and lashes, and his skin could only be described as fairy tale like fair. The beauty of this guy was very distracting, Hugh was supposed to help him, not marvel him.

“Can I have a look at that?”, he asked, making a small gesture to the man’s temple, where blood was dripping from. “I’m a doctor.”, he replied, to the frown he had gotten.

“It’s just a scratch, really.”, the blonde said.

“It’s bleeding a lot. Just let me make sure, you’re not gonna end up with a scar on your face.”

“Okay.”, he said quietly, giving in. “Thank you.”

“No problem. How much did you drink? Alcohol makes you bleed more, that’s why i’m asking.”

“Just a beer.”

“Yeah, you seem sober.”, he smiled.

“What happened?”, Michael asked.

“Some guys picked a fight.”, the blonde shrugged.

Tyler returned a little out of breath.

“T’Kuvma and his bunch of pricks.”, he said.

“Will they ever stop beating up random people?”, Michael groaned. “They constantly pick fights around here.”, she explained to the blonde.

“You need stitches.”, Hugh said.

“I’m not going to ER.”, the guy laughed toneless.

“You’ll have to. I know it’s a bit far away, but we can drop you off there.”, Michael offered.

“I’m not going to the ER.”, he repeated angrier.

“How about you just come with us to our flat? I could fix you up there.”, Hugh offered.

The blonde frowned and lifted his almost invisible brows at the same time. He looked a little helpless.

“I’m Hugh Culber.”, Hugh smiled, holding out his hand.

“Paul Stamets.”, the blonde replied, shaking it.

“I’m often inviting random people to my flat.”, the doctor laughed. “Basically everyone who now lives there once was at that point. But don’t worry, not everyone who is invited there ends up staying.”

That got a little smirk out of Paul. “Okay.”

They started making their way to the flat, and while doing that, Paul was introduced to Michael and Tyler too.

“What made you try to fight a group of ripped guys?”, Tyler asked.

“I tend to fight people who call me a fag.”, Paul replied.

“That’s brave but stupid.”, Michael said.

“I’m not stupid.”, he snapped

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come along mean.”

He just nodded and didn’t talk for the rest of the way.

Hugh did the same. He didn’t want to embarrass himself, cause he couldn't think of any sentence that wasn’t impling his immense crush on Paul.

They reached home and made their way up to the penthouse. As soon as they opened the door, they heard a playful fight coming from the living room. Tyler instantly joined and Michael did the same, after giving Paul a little encouraging smile.

“I got all the stuff in my room.”, Hugh said, leading the way there. “Be my guest.”, he smiled, gesturing for him to sit down at the couch. He got out one of his leather cases full of medical equipment from the closet and took out a alcohol wipe and stitching tape.

Paul was waiting on the couch, nervously tapping with his fingers.

“That’s gonna sting a little.”, the doctor warned, before starting to clean the wound. Paul winced a little but stayed mostly still.

“Why don’t you wanna go to the ER?”, Hugh asked with a soft smile.

“The place just freaks me out.”, the blonde said, after thinking about it for a while.

“Oh. I can understand that. The bright lights, the weird noises, the sharp smell,...”

“Exactly.”, he said, surprised to be understood.

Hugh just smiled and concentrate on taping the cut closed. “There you go.”, he said.

“Thanks.”, he smiled carefully. “Why did you do that?”

“Help you?”, Hugh asked a little surprise. How lonely did you have to be to ask that kind of question? It almost hurt his heart.

“Yes. That’s far from… usual.”

Okay, now it definitely hurt. Hugh just wanted to hug the small blonde, but he seemed like that would scare him, so he didn’t.

“That’s one of the reasons.”, he said instead. “There’s way too little decent people in this world.”

“You’re more than just decent.”, Paul said. It would have been nothing but a nice compliment, if he hadn’t turned red as soon as he realized what had come out of his mouth.

“I’m gonna go.”, he said, jumping up.

“Do you live around here?”, Hugh asked, doing his best to hold back a chuckle at his cuteness.

“No, at the bay.”

“You’re gonna need at least 40 minutes to walk there. You look tired, it’s 4 am and my couch is pretty comfy.” It  had just come out of Hugh’s mouth, he hadn’t been able to stop it. “It’s just an offer.”, he added quickly.

Paul opened his mouth and then closed it again, cause nothing had come out.

“I’m getting you a painkiller and a glass of water and you can think about it.”, Hugh smiled, quickly leaving.

In the kitchen he met Tilly.

“Michael said you brought a guy with you!”, she shrieked quietly.

“Well, kinda.”, he said, taking a glass out of the drawer.

“Is he hot?”

“Yes, and cute as hell.”, he whined. “I just offered him to stay here overnight, on the couch of course, but I feel like that was a notch too much.”, he sighed, filling the glass with water.

“I’m sure, everything’s gonna turn out fine.”, she smiled encouragingly, patting his shoulder. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”, he replied, returning to his bedroom.

A surprising view awaited him. Paul had taken off jacket and put his bag aside and he looked a little more comfortable on the couch. And he definitely made an effort to do so.

“I’d like to stay, but only if it’s not cause you pity me.”, he said seriously.

“I’m definitely not offering you to stay because I pity you.”, Hugh promised. Definitely not. Yes, he did pity Paul a little, but even though he didn’t know the young man at all, he knew that pity didn’t even make up 1% of his feelings towards him.

With a smile he handed him the glass and a pack of painkillers and for the first time Paul replied with and honest smile.

It made Hugh’s heart melt.

 

The next morning his biological alarm clock woke him up at 10 am, an hour before his shift. He got up as quietly as possible, to not wake Paul. He was adorable sleeping like that, with tousled hair and slightly parted lips. Not to mention how damn magical he looked in the warm light of the morning sun.

He wondered if he was being creepy. He knew this guy for like an hour and already had pretty strong feelings towards him. If there was such a thing as love at first sight it had to be something like this.

Michael had once said, that Hugh had the ability to see the most inner core of a person just by looking at them and after she had further described what she meant by that he agreed. He somehow picked up the vibes of other people and perceived their personality in a way many other people weren’t able to. All of his senses told him that there was something very special about Paul.

In the kitchen he again met Tilly.

“I sneaked into your room and put a sticky note onto your night stand saying that Kat would take your shift.”, she said.

“You wanted an excuse to look at him.", Hugh chuckled.

“He is so cute!”, she said in a high pitched voice.

“You’re a creep. But yeah, he is.”, he chuckled. “I need your wisdom, dear barista. What coffee do you think he likes?” Since Tilly had opened her small coffee shop about nine months ago, she had developed the skill to tell which kind of coffee a person liked, just by looking at them.

She laughed. “I bet he pretends to like black coffee, but actually he likes the sweet lattes.”

“Thanks.”, Hugh grinned starting to make coffee.

“Hey, could you cornrow my hair some time? Just from the temple back and down to the ear on one side? Kat and Tyler said that a side cut would suit me and I definitely want to try it, but only try.”

“That would look great!”, Hugh agreed. “We can do it this evening.”

“Awesome! Thanks!”, she giggled, leaving. But just a few moments later, she returned. “Paul is trying to sneak out.”, she whispered.

“Thank you.” Hugh quickly went to the hallway, where he found the blonde putting on his shoes.

“I wanted to make you breakfast.”, he smiled, leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms.

Paul spun around. “I’m sorry, I-I just…”

“It’s okay, you’re not obligated to anything.”, he smiled. Of course Hugh would have loved if he had stayed for breakfast, to get to know each other better, but he didn’t want to talk the blonde into anything.

“I didn’t want to...” Paul sighed with a unhappy frown. “I’m just gonna leave.”

“Hey, Paul.”, Hugh quickly stopped him, leaving his place in the door frame to join him at the front door. Now or never.

The blonde lifted his brows a little.

“Would you consider giving me your number?”

His eyes went big in surprise and he lifted his brows even further. “Does that mean we’ll meet again?”

“If you give me your number definitely.”, he smiled.

“Of course!”, Paul said with humble happiness and glowing eyes.

Hugh quickly got out his phone and Paul dictated his number.

“I’ll text you then.”, Hugh smiled excitedly.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: injury, homophobia


	2. Coffee Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for TWs.

When Paul arrived at his flat he was in a very weird mood. He knew he should be happy and excited but at the same time he felt like crying. Not sleeping in his own bed had been emotionally exhausting. All of this had been emotionally exhausting. But at the same time it had been great. Amazing even. Hell, he had met a guy, who was definitely gay, definitely interested and most likely up for more than just sex. Plus points for being caring and hot.

But still Paul felt… well, like crying. His heart and throat hurt. Not to mention his aching head, but he didn’t really care about that.

Paul silently allowed the tears to leave his eyes and took off his shoes.

What was wrong with him? Things were going good and what was he doing? Running away.

He wished for Straal to greet him and cheer him up and laugh. But Straal wasn’t there. Straal wasn’t there, cause he was dead. It was something he had to remind himself of often, cause he always felt like his friend would just walk in and start to talk to him. But no. He was alone.

His new flat mate was quiet and basically not noticeable, which was great. He didn’t want a substitute for Straal, there was none.

He went to his room, put down the bag net to the desk, let himself fall into the chair and stared at the poster on the back of the closed door. It had used to be on Straals door, but Paul had stolen it, cause it didn’t have any meaning for his parents anyways. Other than for him, it had always made him feel strongly. It showed a photo of the dark night sky and in white caps Straal had written “Pluto is a planet, fuck face.”

One time someone from his study group had made a joke about Paul being the Pluto of the solar system. Paul didn’t care too much, he was used to being the subject of jokes but Straal had offendedly replied with the line he had become known for. It had become his catchphrase, cause everyone always laughed about it.They had used it in many contexts and had changed it’s meaning countless times, but Paul still felt like it was for him. Especially since he could only read it in Straal’s voice.

It helped him through his life on a daily basis, cause every day it meant something different.

“Pluto is a planet, fuck face.”, he sniffed quietly. “It’s a dwarf planet, but it’s a planet. You didn’t stay with him for breakfast, but you stayed there overnight, perfectly fine, without anxiety or depression. That’s something.”

That and having let out some of the tears, made him feel a little better.

He took out his phone to distract himself. There was a message  reading “Hi, it’s Hugh :)”

Paul could smile a little.

“Hello Hugh. Sorry for running off.”

“My bad. I didn’t want to corner you.”

“You absolutely didn’t.”

“I’m glad. How is your head?”

“It hurts a little but it’s okay.”

“Aspirin ;)”

“Yes, I know.”

He hesitated for a moment but then added: “I think I owe you a coffee :)”

“Good thing I work at a lovely coffee shop ;)”

“I thought you were a doctor.”

“I am. But I don’t work as one right now.”

“Oh, okay. I have tests on monday and tuesday, so what about tuesday afternoon? My last course ends at 3.”

“Come to the coffee shop afterwards. I’ll send you a Google Maps link :)”

Usually Paul hated texting. He really did. It was better than phone calls but it was still terrible. Not seeing someone’s face while having a conversation freaked him out. Usually at least. Somehow he didn’t mind too much with Hugh. He knew what he meant when he wrote something. He had to concentrate, but it got even better in the next few days.

 

 

“Let me make his coffee.”

“Let me take his order.”, Tilly replied.

“Deal.”, he grinned.

“Are you excited?”

“Not as excited as you, I think. But yeah.”, he laughed.

“Shh, let me be excited for you.”

“It’s only our first date.”

“Even better. Oh my god, there he is!”

“I’m not gonna be weird and watch him.”, Hugh chuckled, not looking Tilly’s way.

“He’s wearing a dark blue sweater and my lord, does he look good.”

Hugh laughed and heard the door opening.

“Hello.”, Paul said.

“Hi.”, Hugh grinned happily, turning to him.

“Hi, I’m Tilly.”, Tilly said excitedly. “Welcome to the Discovery. I’m the owner of this lovely coffee shop and happen to be one of Hugh’s flatmates, nice to meet you.”

Paul looked a little overwhelmed by her talking so quick. “Nice to meet you.”, replied with a shy smile.

“What coffee do you want to order?”, she asked, leaning onto the counter and propping her chin up on her hands. “Black doesn’t count here.”, she interrupted him, before he could even say something. “It’s a coffee shop. Make use of that.”

“What do you recommend?”, he asked, brows pulled up high.

“For you? I’d start off with simple caramel latte.”, she smiled.

“Then I’ll go with that.”, he said.

Hugh grinned at him and started making the coffee. Over the noise of the machine he couldn’t understand their conversation, but it went back and forth until Paul made a joke and Tilly started laughing loudly. The blonde grinned and they continued talking.

Hugh took off his apron and left his place behind the counter, balancing the cups. He gave Paul a happy smile and tipped his head to his favourite place in the cafe, one of the couches.

“It’s nice here.”, Paul said, sitting down next to him.

“Thanks, I love it too.”, Hugh smiled. “Actually this is Tilly’s baby, it was her idea, she planned everything and she’s definitely the captain, but the whole flat is involved and loves this project.”

Paul had taken the first sip of his caramel latte. “This is great!”

“Thanks.”

“By the way I love the name Discovery and the modern space theme.”, Paul grinned, gesturing at the interior and the aprons with the galaxy print.

“Explain again what you study. I feel like I only got half the show when you explained it in texts.”, Hugh asked.

“I studied mycology.”, Paul explained proudly. “I’m almost done with astrophysics and I just started with engineering, but I don’t necessarily have to finish that, I only need a few semesters.”

“Sounds like a lot of work.”

“It is.”

“What do you study all of those things for?”

“I have kind of a project going on and I need certain knowledge for it.”, he smiled.

He was definitely holding back. He had opened up a little talking about his studies, but now he was scared to bore Hugh.

“Tell me about it.”, he smiled.

Paul opened his mouth and needed a second to get out words. “Mycology is about biological networks, right? I found indicators that those networks exist on a quantum level.”

“Oh wow! So you are a future Nobel laureates?”

Paul laughed. “I’m not setting my hopes that high.”, he giggled. “Step by step, you know? First I need to finish my paper to get a NASA lab.”

“You’re kidding, right?”, Hugh asked. He had said it so carelessly that it didn’t sound like a joke.

“No. My research will be founded by NASA. Presumed I don’t fuck up the paper.”

“Wow.”, Hugh just said. Adorable, dashing and a genius. This man was more than a jackpot.

“You don’t think that’s boring or weird?”, the blonde said with a shy smile.

“No! Of course not.”, Hugh instantly said. “Why would I think that?”

“It’s what most people think.”, he said carefully.

“I’m not most people then.”, he smiled. “I think it’s amazing!”

Paul blushed. “You’re definitely not most people.”

He was so cute, Hugh was gonna die. The urge to kiss him or hug him or to at least reach over and hold his hand was strong. Hell, this was a first date and he was head over heels already.

“So what do you do?”, Paul asked. “Except for working here.”

“I don’t work anywhere else, if that’s what you mean.”, he smiled. “I inherited the penthouse, so I don’t have to pay rent there. I share it with many of my friends, cause what use would I make of a big empty flat? Some of them pay a little rent and help cover the electricity bills, so I only have to pay a small part of that. The same about the food. And that’s all I need right now. A nice flat, food and friends. I want to have a little of my life, before getting into work.”

Paul had heart eyes. “That’s extraordinary.”

“It’s probably a little lazy, but it’s how I like things to be right now.”, he laughed. “My main focus is on my friends and this cafe right now. Also I discovered drawing and painting as a passion when I was studying and now I have time to practice.”

“Cool! Can I see some of it?”

“Sure.” He got out his phone and opened the gallery. “Just look through the folder.”

Paul stared at the photos with big eyes.

“Those are amazing!”

“Thank you. Can I have my phone back?”, he chuckled.

“No, I want to look at them! If I may.”, he added.

“All of them?”, he laughed.

“If I may.”, he smiled blushing.

“Sure.”, he grinned.

They talked for hours and with every minute Hugh fell more in love with the blonde man, who was curled up around his caramel latte and made heart eyes at him. When he was very excited and explained his work, he put to coffee down to be able to gesture with both hands. It was adorable.  _ He _ was adorable.

Tilly waved the last customer goodbye, locked the door and turned off the front lights. Then she joined them with three to go cups of coffee, that had the logo of the coffee shop printed on them.

“I made a new latte.”, she grinned. “Give it a try.”

“Oh, yes.”, Hugh smiled, taking two of the cups and handing one of them to Paul.

The scientist smelled it. “Smells nice. What is it?”

“Just try.”, she grinned.

“It’s so good!”, Hugh said.

“Thanks.”, Tilly said. “What do you think, Paul?”

“It’s great. But kinda weird. I can’t…” He took another sip. “What is in there? Don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing, but it’s confusing me.”, he said with a little smirk.

“Yeah, what makes it so creamy? That can’t only be whipping cream.”, Hugh agreed.

“You’d never guess.”, she laughed

“Something like cream cheese?”, Paul tried.

She shook her head.

“An other kind of milk?”, Hugh asked.

“No.”, she grinned.

“What is it?”, Paul asked.

“Do you really wanna know?”

“Yes!”

“Egg yolks.”

“What?”, Hugh said.

“There’s eggs in there?”

“Yes.”, she laughed.

“How? Why?”, Paul asked.

“You pour them in the coffee with exactly the right temperature. Hot enough to be boiled, but not so hot that they harden.”, she explained proudly.

“Weird. I like it.”, the scientist smiled, drinking more.

“Thank you.”, she replied.

“So you study engineering? I did that too.”

“Oh. Why did you stop?”, he asked.

“I didn’t.”, she smiled. “I just didn’t get a job.”

“Why?”

“Have you noticed that I talk a lot? And I talk a lot of nonsense and too fast.”

“I’d employ you.”, he smirked.

“Thanks, that’s cute.”, she giggled, standing up. “I’m letting you guys alone again. Don’t forget to lock the door.”, she told Hugh. She used the moment Paul wasn’t looking at her, to give her friend an excited look. He replied with a grin and she left.

They sat there in comfortable silence, eyes occasionally meeting. Paul had a happy, humble smile on his lips and in his eyes.

“We should probably leave too.”, Hugh eventually said.

“Yes.”, Paul agreed.

So they did. Standing outside the cafe they just smiled at each other for a moment.

“Bye then.”, Hugh smiled, initiating a hug.

For the fracture of a second there was something awkward, but it instantly disappeared as soon as they had their arms wrapped around each other.

Paul was so soft. So insanely soft and gentle, Hugh wanted to humm in happiness. He felt like if he would ever have to privilege to fall asleep in his arms, he would never be able to feel sadness again.

According to the way Paul hugged, he had to be feeling something similar. Hugh knew this kind of hug very well. It was the I-don’t-wanna-let-go-but-I-don’t-wanna-be-awkward-so-I-will-let-go-when-you-do hug.

So the doctor just didn’t let go and rested his chin on Paul’s shoulder to show that. After a short moment of what Hugh perceived as unsureness and confusion, Paul did the same.

“Hugh?”, he then asked.

He hummed, stroking the blonde's spine with his thumb.

“I really like you.”, he said and it sounded somehow sad.

“Me too.”, Hugh smiled softly, trying to pass on his joy.

Finally they seperated very slowly. Hugh took the opportunity to place a gentle peck on his cheek. Paul’s eyes lit up.

“Call me.”, the doctor smiled. “And tell me when we’ll meet again.”

“As soon as possible if you ask me.”, he chuckled happily.

“Sounds good.”, Hugh smiled brightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: Implied mental health issuses, death mention


	3. Paul and people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for TWs

Paul had had a hard time concentrating during his lecture, cause his thoughts kept drifting off to Hugh. Apparently so obviously that the professor had tried to embarrass him by asking a question out of nowhere, but Paul had been able to answer it and so the professor had embarrassed himself instead, which had cheered Paul up a little. He really hadn’t wanted to attend this lecture and the thought of meeting Hugh again was what had gotten him out of bed. But after pissing the professor off, he felt like the lecture hadn’t been completely useless.

Now it was finally over and Paul left the lecture hall along with the other students. He was getting more and more excited, if that was even possible, cause Hugh was only a few minutes away.

But then suddenly he felt something like a dark shadow and out of nowhere someone was walking next to him.

“Hello, Paul.”

“Hello, Lorca.”, he replied tonelessly, walking a little quicker. God, how he despised this man. Paul wished he’d look like an average person to be able to hide in the mass of students. Sticking out like a black sheep didn’t make it easy to run from people.

“Got hurt?”, he asked.

The cut was healing well, but on his light skin still very visible.

“Since when do you care?”

“I always care, Paul.”, Lorca said, just so offended that people wouldn’t recognize it as exaggerated. “Your smart brain could turn out important to the world, wouldn’t want to lose that.”

Paul frowned. “What do you want?”

“How’s engineering going?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Just asking.”, he shrugged.

“Shouldn’t you be trying to get people around here to join your shit show?”

“Isn’t that what I’m doing right now?”

Paul just wanted to be left alone. What was so hard about this? He just wanted to leave the building and meet Hugh who was probably already waiting for him. This conversation had to end now. He stopped, turning to Lorca. “Tell me what you want and stop wasting my time.”

“I just wanted you to reconsider my offer. No engineering studying, more money,...”

“You just don’t get it do you? I’m finishing my paper for NASA and working there. The military has always been my last option to get my research founded. I’m not shifting the focus of my work. I am not inventing weapons.”

It obviously took Lorca a lot selfcontrol, not to roll his eyes. “Think about it.”, he said and left.

Paul sighed feeling a little helpless and quickly left the building.

He saw Tilly’s hair from far away and walked towards her. Why wasn’t Hugh here? Didn’t he want to meet him? But no, then Tilly wouldn’t be here and she wouldn’t be smiling so bright, Paul told himself.

“Hey.”, he said nervously.

“Hi.”, she replied, pulling him into a hug. “There’s a little drama going on and Hugh has to help, so he told be to pick you up.”

“Oh, okay.”, he said and his frown almost disappeared.

“Are you okay with walking to the flat? We’d pick up a friend on the way.”

“Sure.”, he smiled.

They made their way through the city.

Tilly talked and talked and Paul found himself to be weirdly okay with only listening. She was a very smart person.

“You seem a little down.”, Tilly noticed.

Of course. Lorca wouldn’t get out of his head.

“Never mind, I just met an annoying person.”, he sighed.

“What happened?”, she asked.

He shook his head. “When I was desperately trying to get my research founded I talked to this guy, he’s recruiting people for research for the military. He sees potential for my research to be used for weapons and can’t seem to understand that I want to work for NASA.”

“You don’t even want to make weapons, right?”

“No, of course not! I would have considered it if it had been the only way to work on my- or at least something close to my research but not if my actual research getting founded.”

“Of course not. And he doesn’t leave you alone?”

“No, he won’t. I’ve been telling him no for months already.”, he sighed.

“Ugh, I hate people who can’t take a no. Is he like stalking you? I mean, what is a guy from the military doing on campus? Can’t you get him banned?”

“No, he kinda works here. He’s recruiting people for super secret military research projects. Last summer I was the best of my year in several subjects, so maybe that’s why he’s running after me like that.”

“You’re studying two things at once and are still the best the best of your year? That’s pretty impressive, I couldn’t have done that.”, she said impressed. “When and how did you study all that?”

“I moved here with eighteen and started off with four years of mycology. In the second one I added physics and once I was done with mycology I started engineering. Now I’m in the last year of physics and in the second of engineering.”, he explained proudly.

“So you’re a 24 year old with practically 2 PhDs?”

“When I pass this year, yeah.”, he smiled.

“That’s amazing! I would have loved to be able to do that.”, she sighed.

“Hey, you’re twenty...two...?”

“Twenty three.”, she laughed.

“Twenty three and you run your own business! That’s amazing. I wouldn’t have the guts to do that.”, he said honestly.

“Thanks.”, she smiled and turned to the doorway on their left. “Kat is captain here. She’s the friend we’re picking up on the way.”, she replied to his frown at the sign, stating that this was the entrance to a police station.

Paul just followed her upstairs. The strict atmosphere of the station made him uncomfortable, but he trusted Hugh’s friends. Tilly walked straight to the captain’s office stopping at the open door. Paul was hiding a little behind her, when she knocked on the doorframe, causing the captain to look up.

“Hello, Tilly.”, she smiled. “Bringing in a criminal?”, she joked, keeping a completely straight face and raising a brow at Paul.

He was a little scared of her and didn’t know what to answer, but luckily Tilly did.

“Yeah, I caught him stealing Hugh’s heart.”

The joke was so bad and awkward for Paul, that he had to snort. The captain laughed and got up.

“I’m Katrina Cornwell. Just call me Kat.”, she smiled shaking his hand.

“Paul Stamets.”, he replied. To see her smiling made her a lot less scary.

“Yes, I know.”, she grinned, putting on her jacket and taking her cap.

And so they continued their way to the flat.

“I’m starving.”, Kat sighed. “What are we having?”

“Saru talked about lasagna, I think.”, Tilly grinned. “Saru is the best cook of the flat.”, she turned to Paul. “The second is Hugh. He can cook all the fancy stuff.”

“I can imagine.”, he smiled.

“You know that he’s head over heels for you.”, Kat asked.

He felt himself blushing. “Yeah?”

“He is.”, Tilly agreed. “He can’t stop talking about you.”

Paul grinned. It made him incredibly happy. After all Tilly and Kat were close friends of Hugh, they knew him best and that they said Hugh was head over heels for Paul, proved it right. Now Paul was even more excited to see him.

Luckily they soon reached he flat.

“We’re home!”, Tilly shouted. “And we brought Paul.”

It was pretty crowded in the small hall, with three people taking off their shoes at once, but the women hurried to make space for Hugh.

“Hi.”, he smiled softly, hugging Paul.

“Hello.”, he replied happily.

When they seperated, Hugh left his hands resting on his sides, which was amazing nd very distracting. “How is your day going?”

“It’s been getting better since Tilly picked me up.”, he smiled.

“Sorry, I couldn’t be there. I’ll tell you about it later.”

“It’s okay, I don’t need to know, I’m sure you had good reasons. Besides I got to know Tilly a little better and I met Kat.”, he smiled.

“You and Tilly get along great, don’t you?”

“Yes, she’s awesome.”, he grinned.

“Watch out.”, someone said.

Paul turned around out of instinct, and unfortunately that caused Hugh to let go of him.

A tall ageless man stood there, holding a dish of steaming hot lasagna.

“Hello, Paul. My name is Saru, nice to meet you.”, he said.

“Likewise.”, Paul replied and quickly followed Hugh through the hallway, to make space for Saru. They ended up in the living room, where people had already set the table, so Saru only had to add the dish he was carrying, lasagna number two, to make it perfect.

They all sat down and Paul recognized how perfectly balanced their relationships were. Everyone had their perfectly placed seat. Tilly sat on Paul’s left side, having left a about average space between, which was a bit more than she had to Kat. Saru had left a bigger gap to both of his seatmates, the other being Michael. The empty chair close to her definitely belonged to Tyler and had again an average distance to Hugh’s. Whoever had placed Paul’s chair had done a perfect job; it was just so close to Hugh’s that their arms would occasionally touch.

Everyone was helping themselves, but Paul was shy, so Hugh took his plate to fill it.

“You’re not vegetarian, are you?”, he asked gesturing between the vegetarian and the meat lasagna with the spatula he was holding.

“No, I’m way too lazy for that.”, he laughed.

“Alright.”, he chuckled, loading Paul’s plate with meat lasagna, before doing the same with his.

They ate, laughing, talking and involving Paul in the jokes and conversations. It was amazing.

Hugh and Paul were the first ones to be done eating. As if it was the most normal thing in the world, Hugh moved his chair so close it almost touched Paul’s and wrapped an arm around him. Paul looked at him to see a happy smile, but slightly raised, questioning brows. As answer he just made himself comfortable, leaning to his side and letting his head rest on his shoulder.

Hugh’s friends had ignored all of that and just continued the ongoing discussion about the right way to eat croissants.

Leaning back like that, there weren’t involved, they were just watching which was interesting and comfortable.

“Wanna know a little about all of them?”, Hugh asked. They were so close, he had to put practically no effort into his voice. He was almost whispering but not quite.

“Sure.” Paul loved Hugh’s voice like that. He just wanted to listen to it, no matter what he subject was.

“You already know most things about Tilly and a lot about Kat. They share a room. Kat was a marine and worked at the embassy for a while and somehow ended up as a police captain.”

“She’s pretty badass.”

He chuckled quietly and Paul could feel his chest moving, more than he could actually hear the chuckle.

Now he finally understood what people meant when they talked about butterflies in the stomach.

“Yeah, she is.”, Hugh grinned. “Then there’s Saru. He’s a really nice guy, he’s smart and he’s a good leader. But he’s got anxiety, he prefers quiet conversations over chaos and he has his own room to have a little more privacy.

Michael and Tyler were marines too. She works at the embassy. Tyler is unemployed right now and it’s good like that, he’s got stuff to deal with. PTSD and drugs. He had kind of a breakdown, that’s why I couldn’t pick you up. He’s probably sleeping right now.”

“Are you supposed to tell me all of this?”, Paul frowned.

“In this flat everyone knows about everything about each other. I asked them and they are okay with me telling you everything I know too. We’re all pretty close here.”, he smiled.

Paul couldn't understand that. Why would anyone want so many other people to know about those kinda things? He’d tell those things to a best friend or a significant other, but not to all his flatmates.

“What about your flatmates?”

That was an unexpected punch in a stomach. The butterflies turned into phiranias.

“I don’t…” He took a breath. “He died in an accident. Half a year ago.” Half a year ago and it was still hard to say out loud.

“Oh shit. Paul, I’m sorry.”, he said.

“It’s okay, I don’t… I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Of course.” Hugh let his cheek rest on Paul’s head. Paul tried to focus on the conversation going on.

“No you can’t do that.”, Saru insisted.

“Of course, I can.”, Michael said.

“How often will I have to tell you that you don’t put pineapple on pizza?”

“It’s good!”

“No, it’s not!”

“I-I’m sorry, Michael, but you really don’t do that.”, Tilly agreed.

“Thank you.”, Saru nodded at her. “Paul, what do you think?”

“What?”

“Pineapple on pizza or not?”, Tilly asked.

“Of course not.”

Saru gave Michael a cocky look.

“Kat.”, she said.

“You know how I think about that.”, she stated.

“I don’t.”, Hugh said.

“Pizza with pineapple is disgusting.”

“No, it’s not.” They turned their heads to see Tyler, who looked tired and was wearing jogging pants, but seemed to be in a good mood.

“Hey, Paul.”, he grinned. “Am I crashing the party?” He sat down next to Michael and scooped the rest of lasagna onto his plate.

“Of course you can put pineapple on pizza.”, he said.

“No, you can’t!”, Tilly insisted.

“You can’t.”, Saru added.

“Nope.”, Kat agreed.

“Come one, Paul. Tell me we have someone else on our team.”, Tyler grinned.

 

 

“Sorry, stupid question, stupid time, but I need to go to the bathroom.”, Paul said.

Something was terribly wrong.

“Down the hall on the left side.”, Tilly said.

“Thanks.” He got up and left, leaving emptiness next to Hugh.

“What’s going on?”, Tilly asked concerned, as soon as Paul was out of hearing distance.

“I’m not sure.”, Hugh frowned.

“Did he say anything?”

“I asked him about his flatmates and he told me his flat mate died, but I’m sure that’s not the reason he ran off.” What was he supposed to do?

“We probably totally overwhelmed him.”, Michael said.

“Should I check on him?”  Hugh really wasn’t sure. His instinct of course told him to check on Paul, but it had also told him to bring him here and introduce him to all his friends at once.

Saru said no at the same moment Michael said yes. They stared each other.

Hugh looked at Tilly for help.

“Go check on him.”, she said.

That was the answer he had been waiting for. He jumped up and made his way to the bathroom. But then he realized that he didn’t know what to do. All of this was so much easier when it happened to Saru or Tyler or Tilly or probably just anyone but Paul. How did this work again? Usually he was good at this.

“Paul?”, he tried carefully.

No reply.

“Are you okay there?”

“Sure.”

Paul was a terrible liar.

“Do you…?”

“I’ll be back in a minute, okay?”

His voice had a really weird pitch. Hugh could feel his affliction through the door.

“Would you let me in to talk?”

"I'm fine."

“Please.”

And Paul really unlocked the door.

His arms were crossed, shoulders pulled up in discomfort. The frown made a sharp line appear between his brows and his lower lip stuck out a little in defiance but it was also trembling.

“I’m sorry, I’m...”

“Paul, please don’t apologize, you have absolutely no reason to.”

Hugh stepped in and closed the door behind him. Paul sat down on the most outer edge of the toilet seat, staring at the tiles.

So Hugh sat down across him on the rim of the bathtub.

“I am ruining all of this.”, Paul mumbled.

“You’re not.”, Hugh said gently. The bathroom was small and he was close enough to reach over and take his hand and squeeze it to make sure Paul understood, but this wasn’t the moment. “This is on me. I dragged you here and expected you to get to know all of my friends at once without even warning you before. Please tell me what’s upsetting you, so I not to it again next time.” Please just let there be a next time.

“That’s not the point, you did nothing wrong, I did everything wrong.”, he said.

“Are things going to fast?”

“No. No, everytime we separate I can’t wait to see you again and… and your friends are great, but… I feel like I can’t fit in with them; with you. Everything about this spot at the table suddenly felt wrong, like I didn’t and could never belong there, and all of you don’t... I know that’s most likely not true, but I can’t control those thoughts, I can’t…” He bit his lip.

“Paul.”, Hugh said. There must have been something about his voice, cause Paul looked up. “We both know that there’s something between us. Something I want to explore and possibly grow. And I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to invest in this; in you.”

“You barely know me.”, Paul swallowed.

“I don’t have to know you, to understand that…” God what where the words? “...there’s something about you, I won’t find in anyone else.”

Paul stared at him, brows raised up high. Hopefully that was a good sign.

“What do you feel, Paul?”, he asked. He did his best not to be pushy but this couldn’t continue without Paul’s opinion. Hugh had made clear that he wanted to continue building their relationship, now it was on Paul to say what he had to say about this.

“I want to get to know you better and I want to be able to experience whatever it is that connects us. I want to continue this, please.”, he said.

Hugh smiled carefully. “Then we now know we have the same intentions.” Now it was there; here was the moment to reach over and take Paul’s hands. “Paul, if you don’t feel comfortable please tell me. Tell me you want to leave so we can leave or that you’re going to take a break and come back when you’re better. You don’t have to run and hide in the bathroom.”

Paul tried to smile.

“I rely on you to tell me when you’re uncomfortable and you can rely on me that I’ll do my best to make you feel comfortable again. Okay?”

He nodded and fell around Hugh’s neck.

Hugh held him tight.

“I’m trying to to be complicated, I swear.”, the blonde mumbled into his shoulder and Hugh could feel him smile a little.

“It’s much less complicated, if you tell me about it.”, he said.

“It’s not as easy as it sounds.”

“I know.”, he said softly. “And when I say telling me about it I don’t mean telling me your deepest darkest secrets…” That earned him a huff. “...I’m talking about telling me how to help you and what to do or not to do. Do I make any sense?”

“I understand you.”, Paul smiled.

He was so glad Paul understood. Cause that meant he would tell him next time and Hugh could do better next time. And most importantly it meant that there would be a next time. “Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me now?”, he chuckled.

“Cause you didn’t run away, even though I cornered you. Again.”

“You didn’t corner me.”

“We won’t come to an agreement on that.”, he smiled.

“Eventually you’ll see that I’m right.”, he grinned.

“Okay.”, Hugh laughed quietly. “Are you ever gonna let go of me again?”

“No.”, Paul said, but let go of him.

They were pretty close. Comfortable close. They hadn’t fully let go of the other yet and had kind of stopped, halfway through separating.

Paul’s eyes were blue. Of course they were blue, Hugh had just never realized. They were, compared to everything else about Paul, a little dark, not the sky kinda blue, but the ocean kinda blue. And they were definitely something to drown in.

He wanted to kiss Paul. Not on the cheek. But they both knew it was Paul’s turn to make that choice.

Paul stared at him and although his eyes flickered to Hugh’s lips for a moment, he decided to place the gentle warm kiss on his cheek.

Paul was testing where to draw the lines of his comfort zone and today he had already overstepped them. Hugh was actually glad to see him being better safe than sorry.

He just closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment. They would kiss again soon enough.

“Let’s go back.”, Paul then smiled.

“We can go to my room too, we don’t have to go back to all of them.”

“I want to go back, Hugh. I like your friends, they are great.”

Hugh smiled happily and they returned to the living room and sat down in exactly the same position as before, with the only difference being that Hugh felt a little closer to Paul.

“Be glad Tilly and Michael like you, they fought for you cake.”, Tyler winked at them and gestured to their plates, that had still chocolate cake on them, other than anyone else's.

“Detmer made it.”, Tilly grinned. “She works at the cafe and she makes insane cake creations; this is her newest one.”, she explained to Paul. “Like it?”

“Yes!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: anxiety, minor panic attack (Paul gets overwhelmed by a conversation and has to leave)


	4. Movie Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for TWs

The front door was ajar, so Paul just entered.

“Hello?”

“Hi!”, someone screeched and suddenly all he could see was red curls.

“Hi.” He awkwardly hugged back.

She let go of him, grinned excitedly. “Good to see you.”

“Likewise.”, he smiled.

“Hey.” Hugh greeted him with a peck on the cheek.

“Hello.”, he smiled happily.

“Is Paul here?” Tyler stuck his head through the doorway. “Hi.”, he grinned. “What pizza do you want? Not hawaiian I suspect.”

“Hell no.”, he laughed. “Pepperony, please.”

“Okay.”, he grinned and they followed him into the living room.

Michael and Saru were setting up laptop and beamer, while Kat and Tilly were moving the couch to stand in the middle of the room, as the last row of the little cinema they were building up. 

“Hello. Hi.”, Tyler was on the phone. “I’d like to place an order. You ready? A vegetarian, a meat lover’s, two cheese, a pepperoni and two hawaiian.”

“Ew!”

Tyler shushed Tilly to add the address.

“If I can smell the pineapple, I swear to god...”, Kat said, pointing at him threatening as soon as he had hung up.

“Drinks?”, Hugh asked.

Everyone said their choice. Coke for Tyler and Tilly, ginger ale for Michael and Kat and a seven up for Saru.

Paul followed Hugh in the kitchen to get the drinks.

“Could you get the glasses please?”, he said, gesturing to a cupboard.

“Sure.” He put the glasses on the counter, while Hugh got big bottles of soda out of the fridge. The doctor sat down at the open freezer compartment and pulled open a chest full of ice cubes. He gestured for Paul to give him the glasses and scooped ice in each of them.

Paul filled them with soda.

It was funny, it felt natural and in every way as if they had done it a hundred times before. “What are you having?”, Paul asked.

“Coke, please.”, he said closing the freezer. He sneaked up up behind Paul and pressed his cold fingers to his neck.

Paul shrieked and laughed.

When they returned there was a bunch of bean bags, cushions and blankets scattered across the floor and everyone was making themselves comfortable. Paul and Hugh handed out the drinks, before sitting down on the couch.

“Did you leave us the couch cause I’m the new one?”, Paul joked.

“You wish.”, Tilly laughed. “We have a rule here. ‘Love birds get the couch.’ aka the last row.”

Tyler made a smooching noise. Michael hit him, Hugh pinched the bridge of his nose and Paul snorted.

“What’s the movie plans for tonight?”, Kat asked.

“The A-Team, Breakfast Club and Heathers.”, Michael said.

“So we’re watching an episode of the A-Team or…?”

“Nope, the movie.”, Tyler said.

“Why are we watching originals and remakes on the same evening?”, Kat complained.

“Cause it’s called movie night, not tv show night.”

“Don’t act smart, Tyler.”

“I am smart!”

Everyone jokingly made disagreeing noises and Paul laughed.

All of them were amazing. Paul had never really had friends and was definitely not used just being accepted into a group of people, so being around them was an entirely new experience for him. And he started to like it, a lot actually.

All the way through “A-Team” they stuffed themselves with pizza. Then they took a break to get more soda, popcorn, chocolate and chips, before continuing with “The Breakfast Club”.

“Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the breakfast club.”

The ending song came on and everyone was crying, except for Tyler, who just had a little wet eyes.

Paul was curled up in Hugh’s arms.

“I don’t usually cry during movies.”, he sniffed.

“Everyone cries during ‘breakfast club’.”, Hugh chuckled, ruffling his hair a little.

“Yeah, even Kat is crying.”, Tilly giggled, wiping her tears away.

“I’m not crying.”, she objected, although she obviously was. “Just put on “Heathers” so I can laugh again.”

So Michael put on the next movie and soon they all were laughing again.

Paul had wrapped his arms around Hugh, legs crossed over Hugh’s lap and his head nuzzled into his neck. He had his eyes closed and wasn’t really paying attention to the movie anymore. It was just so comfortable, he let himself sink into the touch.

“Tried?”, Hugh whispered.

Paul moved back a little to be able to look at him.

“A little.”, he smiled. Paul suddenly had the overwhelming urge to kiss him. So he did, without bothering to think about it twice. He reached up, gently cupped his cheek and pulled him close.

He could feel Hugh smile against his lips.

Hugh felt really nice.

It would have been a lie to say that Paul had never imagined how a kiss would feel like, but Hugh’s soft lips and the tickles of his beard weren’t like anything he could have possibly imagined.

In the beginning Paul had to try out things a little. He hadn’t kissed anyone in ages and kissing was different with every person anyways. But soon he grew more confident and the little kisses developed into french kisses.

Hugh tasted salty and sweet, of popcorn and soda.

Tilly shrieked.

They opened their eyes.

Tilly and Michael were gone, probably in the kitchen.

“Well, at least she tried.”, Paul chuckled.

“Looks like we got ourselves a fan.”, Hugh laughed. “Wanna leave or finish the movie?” It was almost over anyways.

“No. I don’t need to see JD die all over again.”, he grinned. “I’ve always had a crush on Christian Slater like that.”

“Do I have to be jealous?”, he laughed.

“Of young Christian Slater? Anyone would leave anyone for him.”, he giggled.

“Truth be told.”, Tilly said returning. “Does that mean I get the couch?”

Paul hadn’t let go of Hugh, so the doctor made sure he didn’t have to. They were already so entangled, it was apparently easy to pick him up bridal style. How was Hugh so strong?

“Yes, you get the couch.”, he grinned.

Paul laughed as Hugh carried him to his room.

“Would you be so kind?”, he grinned, stopping so Paul would close the door behind them.

He did so and then wrapped his arms around him again to continue to kiss him.

Hugh tried to put him down on the bed, but Paul didn’t let go, but instead pulled him in bed with him.

They kissed and caressed each other until they fell asleep and Paul felt like he had never been happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No TWs, this chapter is just fluff :)


	5. True Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for TWs

He rung the bell.

“Hey!”, Tilly grinned, opening the door for him. “You need coffee.”

As soon as Paul had taken off his shoes, she handed him two cups.

“Thanks.”, he smiled and made his way to Hugh’s room.

“Hey.”, he smiled, kicking the door closed behind him.

“Hi.”, Hugh smiled, getting up to greet him with a kiss.

“Tilly gave me coffee.”

“You look like you need it.”, he said, taking one of the cups.

“I worked all week.”, he smiled. “The paper is going good. But I still need to do homework.”

“As you told me.”, he smiled.

They got comfortable on the bed. Hugh had an arm around Paul’s shoulders, lazily caressing his biceps. He was listening to music on one earplug while Paul was working on his laptop.

Paul had never felt so comfortable studying. He had to make little effort to concentrate, so he could just cuddle to Hugh and do his work.

“Look, sunshine, the sun is coming out.”, Hugh smiled and let go of Paul to be able to reach the curtain to let in the bright light.

Paul hissed and let his limbs fall flat to the matres. “In case you couldn’t tell, that was an impression of me dissolving into ashes.”

Hugh laughed. “You’re a vampire?” He wrapped an arm around his stomach and let his head rest on his chest.

“Didn’t the tone of my skin give it away?” Lots of people called or at least had called him a vampire and he had hated it, but the easiest way had been to just roll with it.

“All the tone of your skin tells me is that you’re beautiful.”

“What- How do you do that?”, Paul chuckled. Hugh was just adorable.

“Besides the point: are you implying I’m a werewolf?”

“Aren’t the werewolves always the guys with the insane muscles?”, he grinned and Hugh laughed.

Paul tried to continue to work, but soon enough Hugh started humming.

“That’s your terrible aria, isn’t it?”, Paul asked.

“Yes, it’s my beautiful favourite aria, Paul.”, he replied.

“It’s hideous.”

“It’s amazing. Here, listen.” He unplugged the headphones and they listened for a while.

“It’s hideous.” , Paul repeated.

“You have a terrible taste in music, mister.”, Hugh said, raising a brow. “We have to find some music we agree on. Oh, wait! I have just the right thing!”

He switched to another playlist.

“Ed Sheeran?”

“Everyone loves Ed Sheeran.”, Hugh grinned. “Can you dance?”

“Yeah.”, he grinned proudly.

“Come on then!” He jumped up.

Paul laughed and got up. The room had heated up in the bright sunlight and Paul took off his sweater before joining Hugh, who was already hopping around.

He took the blonde’s hands and pulled him along, jumping up and down. 

“What are we doing?”, Paul giggled, not sure if and how to join.

“I don’t know, I can’t dance.”, he laughed.

Hugh was hilarious. He truly made Paul happy.

They jumped up and down, pulling the other along or spinning him around, to mimic actual dance figures. And they sang along, or at least pretended to cause neither of them knew the words and in the end they were laughing so hard, they couldn’t breath anymore.

Giggling, out of breath, but still kissing they returned to their place on the bed.

“You’re keeping me from work, idiot.”, Paul smiled happily, placing a kiss on Hugh’s hairline.

“Sorry.”, he grinned. “It’s due to monday though and it’s only 12 am on saturday. Also I know my genius can do it in no time, but I’ll try not to distract you anymore.”

“I love distraction way too much.”, he giggled, but tried to continue his work.

But eventually he fell asleep. No wonder, being in such a comfortable place after a week of sleep deprivation and over working.

He felt his laptop being taken away and a blanket being wrapped around his shoulders. A kiss was placed on his temple and fingers ran through his hair, over his neck and shoulder down his arm to intertwine with his.

He could feel them on his naked skin. His eyes snapped open.

“Fuck!”

 

 

Hugh had never seen Paul in a short sleeved t-shirt before and now he knew why.

It would have been a lie to say that he hadn’t instantly noticed the scars. On each lower arm, right under the inner side of his elbow, there was a spot, about the size of half of Hugh’s palm, distorted with cutting scars of all shapes and sizes.

Hugh wouldn’t be the the one to address them, it was Paul’s body, his choice.

But it also would have been a lie to say that Hugh wasn’t a little shocked, even though the scars were definitely about five years old already. It was a visible sign of the pain Paul had gone through. Hugh wouldn’t wish something like that on his worst enemy and to see it on his love hurt.

Paul jerked at his touch and cursed. He sat up and quickly crossed his arms, staring down at them.

“Paul?”, Hugh frowned carefully.

“I don’t.. I-I…” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I didn’t realize I took off my sweater.”

Hugh stayed silent.

“You saw them, didn’t you?” His lower lip was twitching a little and he kept his eyes closed.

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I figured you didn’t want to talk about it and that’s your good right.”

“I didn’t… I never…” He took another sharp breath. “You give me so much. And you always tell me everything and I wanted to give some of that back and tell you about it but… I wasn’t sure if you’d still want me cause… and I’m sorry I never told you, it felt like lying, it’s just that… I’m not proud of it, I’m disgusted actually, but they’re a part of me. I can’t change it and if you didn’t want me anymore, I couldn’t… I just didn’t…” He swallowed. “... know what to expect.”

Where to begin? All the words Paul had kept in for too long came bubbling out and Hugh wasn’t sure what to answer. The pain was still very much there, he could feel it radiating from Paul’s chest and hell, he would have done anything to ease it.

“It doesn’t change who you are. If anything, it shows what you’ve had to go through already and that you have to be a pretty strong person.” He carefully placed a hand and Paul’s thigh and stroked it with his thumb. God, how he wanted to hug him, but he didn’t seem too enthusiastic about body contact. “You don’t have to tell me everything about you, Paul. Even less all at once. I’m just the kind of person who does that, you aren’t and that’s fine. You don’t have to…”

“I want to tell you.”, Paul said, opening his eyes. He reached out and took Hugh’s hands in his, thus exposing the scars again. To Hugh it seemed as if he was telling him to look at them and rethink what he had said. But of course Hugh had already made his choice a long time ago. Paul stared down at their hands, his thumbs caressing Hugh’s wrists.

“I always knew that I could never tell my parents that I was gay.”, he started. “So I never did and… it wasn’t easy, I was pretty much the gayest kid you could possibly imagine. When I was 15 I was kissing guys and someone found out and told my parents. They asked me if I was gay and… I just couldn’t lie to them anymore, so I said yes and… they never were the same again. They disowned me; better have no child than a gay one. But I still lived there for the next three years, cause I had nowhere to go. At some points it got so bad, I even went to seek help at child protective services, but they were pretty much useless. Everything got so much better when I moved out. It wasn’t easy either, but much better.” A few tears had squeezed out of his eyes.

Hugh was overwhelmed by the trust Paul suddenly put in him.

He would never be able to understand how terribly that must have been. He had grown up without father but in a big happy family that had always supported him no matter what, and the pure thought of a 15 year old child having to grow up all by themselves was terrifying.

“Paul, I don’t even know where to start.”, he said honestly.

Paul nodded.

Hugh squeezed his hands. “I love you, no matter what.”

He looked up, staring at him with big watery eyes.

“I love you, Paul, and nothing, even less your past can change that.”, he repeated.

Paul fell around his neck and buried his face in it. “I love you. How on earth did I deserve you?”, he sobbed.

“I’ve been asking myself the same about you ever since that coffee date.”, Hugh smiled softly into his hair.

Paul wanted to chuckle, but it still sounded more like sobs. Hugh rocked him back and forth a little. He didn’t know much else to do and hoped this was enough. After a while Paul’s breathing evened out.

“Paul?”, Hugh whispered, stroking the blonde hair.

He had fallen asleep in his arms which was insanely adorable and again proved much more trust than Hugh felt he had had the chance to earn yet.

“Nice dreams.”, he whispered, placing a kiss on his temple before leaning back against the headboard.

He finally had the chance to run his fingers along the dips that marked the edges of his biceps and over the translucent hair on his arms.

Still Paul was magically beautiful.

 

 

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”

Hugh sat on the edge of the bed, stroking his cheek. He was back from his morning run and fresh out of the shower.

“Morning.”, Paul yawned, blinking his eyes open. He pushed himself up and cuddled onto Hugh.

“Breakfast?”

Paul hummed and let himself be pulled up by Hugh. They made their way to the kitchen.

“P&J sandwiches?” Paul asked, unpacking the bread.

“You’re a child!”, Hugh laughed. “You can’t have p&j sandwiches for breakfast every day.”

“They make me happy, okay? I can and I will have them for breakfast as often as I want. You want one now or not?”, he teased.

“Of course I want one.”, Hugh grinned, sneaking a kiss.

“Good morning!”, Tilly sing-sanged.

Out of habit Paul quickly crossed his arms, which seemed kind of stupid cause he was facing the other way anyways.

Ever since Hugh had seen the scars he had been getting more and more comfortable with wearing short sleeved shirts in Hugh’s room until he didn’t mind at all anymore.

He had asked himself how he could have possibly forgotten about the scars, how he could have been so careless to just take off his jacket that morning. It wasn’t like him at all, he was concerned about people noticing them, even when he was wearing long sleeved shirts.

But soon enough he had figured out the answer. In Hugh’s room he felt at home. And home was a place where he didn’t have to worry about what he was wearing. It was a place where people accepted him as he was, with his flaws and insecurities. People like Hugh. And Tilly.

Actually Tilly was his best friend. She wouldn’t mind, he told himself. 

It took a little self conquest, but he continued to spread peanut butter onto the bread.

“Morning.”, he smiled. “Sandwich?”

“Sure. Coffee?”

“Yes, caramel, please.”

“Hugh?”

“Same for me, thanks. Need help?”, Hugh asked, touching his back. He was giving him a chance to leave and get his sweater. Paul had never met such a sensitive person in his life.

“I’m good, thanks.”, he smiled.

“Okay.”, Hugh said a little surprised. He could feel Paul was nervous and tired to ease him by leaving and arm around him and staying close, just watching Paul finishing preparing the sandwiches. The blonde pecked his cheek. He was incredibly thankful.

“Done.”, he smiled and held out a sandwich for Tilly, who had just finished pouring syrup into their coffees. Her eyes flickered to the scars for a moment, but then she just took the sandwich.

“Thanks.”, she grinned, taking a bite. “Help yourself.”, she said with a full mouth, gesturing at the cups.

“Thanks.”, he grinned. They returned to bed with their breakfast.

“It scares you.”, Hugh said, after a while of comfortable silence.

“Yes, it does.”, Paul replied. “I’m okay around you. And I should be okay with it around Tilly and actually other people too but…” How to put those things in words?

Hugh was just waiting, ready to listen.

“I’m trying to figure out what my issue is. I… With… It gets harder the more people there are. Cause if it’s only one person and they were to stare I would notice, but with more, I’m… scared I wouldn’t notice. I can’t explain why I’m so terrified of people staring, but… I am.”

“I think I understand most parts of it.”, Hugh said.

Another think Paul loved about Hugh. No lied “I know exactly what you mean.”. He knew he couldn’t perfectly understand all of it, but he was an amazingly sensitive person and he knew Paul like no one else did, so yes, he could understand most parts of it.

“Hey, Paul?”

There must have been a longer pause while he was thinking.

“Yeah?”

“Would you like me to cover them up with a drawing?”

He blinked. “Like those cover up tattoos?”

“Kinda, yeah. Would you consider trying?”

“Yes. I just… do you have colours I could wash off? I don’t how well I’d stand having it touched, and half a drawing is kinda shitty.”, he said with a huff.

“Acrylic paint. Sure.”, Hugh said, getting two shoe boxes of paint. “Would you close your eyes?”, he grinned. “I thought about this, I’d like you give you a surprise.”

“Uhm, okay.”, Paul giggled. He had no clue what Hugh was up to, but he knew it was gonna be something lovely. So he made himself comfortable on his place on the bed and watched Hugh prep cushions in his lap for Paul’s arm to rest on. He grinned at him and the blonde smiled back before closing his eyes.

He was pretty nervous about letting Hugh touch him there, but he trusted him. Turned out it wasn’t that bad actually. Just unusual. It got him thinking a little and he realized that no one had touched his forearms in the past ten years. He said that out loud.

As response a kiss was placed in his palm. “I’m still not sure how I’ve earned myself that amount of trust.”

“I love you, Hugh.”, he just said. That was pretty much all he could answer to that.

“I love you too.”, he smiled.

After a while Hugh started humming his opera. Paul could humm along by now.

“You’re humming my aria?”

“Well, someone’s gotta do it right.", he laughed.

Hugh snorted.

“Did you just snort?”

“No.”, Hugh lied with a grin and continued.

Paul stuck out his tongue at him.

“Really?”, Hugh laughed.

“Yes.”, Paul stated. Sometimes Hugh made him childish and he wasn’t ashamed, not a bit.

After another while of humming Hugh was done.

“I hope you like it.”, he said. “Ready to see it.”

“Yup.”, he grinned excitedly. “I’m opening my eyes now.”

So he did. His breath hitched for a moment.

“Oh my… Oh my god, Hugh! That’s the entoloma hochstetteri!”

On a background of ferns there were a bundle of the glowing mushrooms.

“The sky blue mushroom.”, Hugh smiled.

“You remembered they were my favourites! Hell, you remembered that fern grows next to them! They’re so beautiful.” He blinked a few tears away, trying not to be a cry baby. “I’ve never… been able to look at my arms and be happy.”

He rewarded Hugh with the most amazing french kiss he was capable of.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“I’m glad you like it.”, Hugh smiled with glowing eyes.

“How long will it stay?”

“Tomorrow maybe? It’s acrylic, it doesn’t stick to skin that well.”, he said apologetically.

“You’ll have to do the right arm with sharpie and the left one too, when the color comes off. And when it comes of on the right, you have to do it again, forever! Tilly!”, he shouted jumping up. “Tilly!” He found her in the hallway.

“What’s up?”

“Look at this!” He stuck his arm out. This was the exact opposite of what he had been doing for the past ten years of his life. That was amazing!

“Oh my god, I can barely see them anymore, this is so fucking cool!”, she marveled. “Hugh, you’re the best boyfriend ever!”, she shouted.

“What she said!”, Paul added with a grin.

Tilly hugged him. “I’m glad you’re happy, Paul.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: selfharm, mental health issuses, homophobia  
> They talk about Paul growing up without friends and with homophobic parents.


	6. Disclosure of the day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for TWs

Disclosure of the day: Paul Stamets was insanely good at sex. Not that Hugh had thought he wasn’t good at it, but that he was this good was admittedly a new disclosure.

Lots of things were new tonight.

They had made out a lot, Hugh was used to Paul’s touches and kisses. But having him climb on top of him like that, knees placed on either side of his hips, grabbing his face and kissing him like there was no tomorrow was something entirely different.

Hugh was glad he had addressed all the technical things (recent negative check ups and other somewhat awkward stuff) quite a while ago, so they didn’t have to worry about in that moment.

Hugh had rarely ever had penetrative sex as first sex with a person, but Paul had been pretty clear about liking that and Hugh was definitely not gonna complain. Besides, they had waited long enough for the right time, now it was here, why would they wait for another right moment?

Paul was in general very clear about things. Hugh really didn’t know how he did it, but he very clearly communicated what he liked and didn’t like.

Another thing Hugh had expected, but no to this extend, was how sensitive Paul was. When the very tip of Hugh’s first finger had pushed in, Paul had gripped onto his arms, buried his face in his neck and whined out loud. Not to speak of what had happened a while later, when Hugh had tugged his hips into the right angle. From that moment on he had gotten to hear Paul making comparatively high pitched whining moans, that were close to obscene. They suited Paul so well, they made him even more beautiful, if that was still possible. Though when Hugh had laughed out of pure joy, Paul had seemed a little embarrassed by the sounds he had made. But Hugh had just grinned and said, well more gasped actually “The walls are pretty soundproof.” And Paul had giggled and continued making his little noises.

Hugh had come first, cause how could he possibly not have with Paul atop of him. It had given him a comparatively clear head to watch Paul, which had been amazing.

He had been a mess, panting and shaking, with not much control over his body, but a small content smile on his lips. He had pretty much collapsed onto Hugh, almost too faint to wrap his arms around him.

And now they were lying there, bodies entangled, trying to touch as much of the other as possible.

“Paul?”

He hummed.

“How are you so damn good at sex?”

Paul giggled. “Am I?”

“Yeah.”, Hugh sighed happily.

“I’m glad you like my butt.”, he laughed, words a little slurred.

“I like all of you.”

“Yeah, but I’m glad that includes my butt.”

Now it was on Hugh to laugh. “You’re tired, huh?”

“Yeah.”, he muttered with a grin.

“Come on, we have to shower before we go to sleep, we’re all sticky.”

“But I’m practically asleep.”, Paul whined.

“We’ll shower together, okay?”, he grinned.

“Okay, I’m awake.”, he sighed, replying the grin.

Hugh stood up and waited for Paul who was slower. His knees were pretty wobbly, a little shaky even.

“I’d tell you you can brag with that, but to be honest that happens almost every time.”, Paul laughed. “It’s a little awkward.”

“Why would it be awkward?”

“I… dunno…”

Hugh pulled him into a kiss.

“I love everything about you.”, he repeated with a smile. “From your skin, over those lovely noises you make, to your wobbly knees."

“And my butt.”

“Yes, I love your butt.”

“I’ve never had someone eat it.”

According to the way Paul blushed, that had just kinda bubbled out of his mouth.

Hugh had to laugh a little at his drowsy, adorable and most definitely hypoglycemic boyfriend.

“I’ll be happy to do that. But tomorrow. Now we’re showering and I’m getting you to bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: sex (not very graphic), this chapter is not important to the story, so if you don't like smutty stuff you can just skip it :)


	7. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for TWs

For once a mandatory reading hadn’t been boring. It had been exhausting, after all finals were coming closer and closer, but Paul had his things well organized. If he paid good attention in class and read the scripts carefully, he barely had to study for physics. Engineering was a whole different thing, it took a lot more time, attention and studying, but that’s why he’d meet Tilly today. She was great help with that and a professional at her subjects.

Although he’d have to admit that the mixture of spices in Tilly’s newest franken-coffee wasn’t really his taste. Half of it was still left in the paper cup, cool by now.

“Paul!”

He sighed. Lorca had gotten so much worse in the last weeks.

“For the hundredth time, don’t call me Paul and for the second hundredth time, leave me alone.”, he snapped.

“If you don’t call me captain or sir, I don’t have to call you by your last name. Hey, what’s that?”, the captain grabbed his right arm to have a look at the drawings “Covered your scars?”

Paul tried to rip his arm away in disgust, but Lorca held it tightly with practically no effort.

“Of course, blue mushrooms, your favourite thing.”

“ _ Entoloma hochstetteri. _ Can you spell it?”, Paul said overly sweet. He tried harder to rip his arm free, but Lorca just let go of it, so he ended up punching himself in the thigh. Paul quickly continued his way through the halls, clinging onto his coffee with both hands, but Lorca just walked next to him.

“I know this style better than I’d like to. Hugh Culber drew that. How do you know him?”

Paul gave him a death stare.

“Ah, you guys fuck. Okay, that explains a lot.”, Lorca laughed.

“Are you done?”, Paul asked sorely.

“No, actually I wanted to search your bags. Campus security and stuff.”

Paul gritted his teeth. Lorca was allowed to do that.

“Okay to stay here or wanna come to my office?”, the captain asked, as if he was nice to give him a choice.

“Wanna pat me down or what?”, Paul snapped.

He opened his arms a little and pulled up a corner of his mouth.

Paul sighed helplessly and dropped is backpack onto a bench. “Hurry, I got better things to do.”

“Like fucking Culber?”, he asked patting down his legs.

“That’s none of your business.” It felt terrible and the urge to kick him was strong. He’d rather be touched by literally anyone but Lorca. Dammit, why didn’t he think of that sooner? He could have insisted on being searched by someone else right? He’d ask Michael or Kat about that.

“That was a yes, I suppose.”, he said, searching his troso for weapons, he of course knew Paul didn’t carry or even own.

“You’re good.”, Lorca smiled. “Open your backpack.”

He did so. “There. Books. Wow. Done?”

“Let me have a proper look first.”

Paul groaned. Lorca would purposely mess up his stuff again.

“Fine.”, he snapped and let the captain search his bag. “Why the fuck are you searching side pockets?”

“Pocket knives.” he said excusing.

Paul crossed his arms and bit his lips. He despised the captain.

“How old are you, Paul?”, the captain laughed, holding up the rainbow bracelet.

“Give it back!”

“What is this?”

“Give it the fuck back! It’s private, you’re not allowed to do that!”, he said loudly, hoping that someone would pay attention and Lorca would mind that. But he didn’t really care, people knew he was an asshole.

“Why do you carry that around with you?”

“Give it back!”, Paul shouted angrily. He made an attempt to rip it out of his hands, but Lorca held it out of his reach and he wouldn’t make a fool of himself jumping around, knowing that he was too slow.

It had been Straal’s bracelet. Someone had given it to them on the first Pride Parade Straal had dragged Paul to and while Paul had lost his, Straal had kept wearing it all the time.

“Answer my question first.”

He wanted to punch him so badly.

“Come on.”

“It belonged to Straal.”, he said quickly. Great,now he felt like crying. “Give it back now!”

“Oh what a tragedy.”, Lorca said toneless, giving back the bracelet and the backpack.

Paul quickly pulled the bracelet around own wrist and instantly felt better.

“Done?”, he said coldly.

“You’re free to go.”, the captain smiled.

Paul splashed his coffee into Lorca’s face, soaking his uniform.

“What the-”

“Sorry, I stumbled.” Paul barely held back a smirk. This felt so good! He tipped his head, dropped the cup with ostentation and turned on his heels to leave.

“Thanks, Straal.”, he said quietly.

 

 

“Hugh? Hugh.”

“What’s up?”, he asked worried, rushing to the hall. Paul didn’t sound too upset, but Hugh felt that there was something wrong.

“Why do you know Gabriel Lorca?”

“What?”

“He told me he knew you, he recognized your drawings, why do you know him?”, Paul insisted.

“He was Kat’s boyfriend and Tyler’s captain, he lived here for a while. What did he do to you?”, he asked.

Paul just shook his head. “Nothing I just…”

“Oh my god, he’s he guy from the military running after you!”, Tilly said appearing out of nowhere.

“He’s running after you?” Now Hugh was seriously worried.

“Guys, calm down.”, Paul frowned. “I think we need to tell each other what we know about him.”

They sat down at the kitchen table, Hugh and Paul next to each other, Tilly across them.

Hugh took Paul’s hand.

“You look at me as if my life was in danger.”, Paul smiled. “Hugh, it’s just a prick running after me, it’s mainly annoying.”

Hugh just squeezed his hand a little. “I’m worried about you.”, he frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“It’s by far not as bad as you imagine right now.”, he said. But his soft smile turned into a frown, when he started telling the story. “He works with the university cause he’s recruiting students for super secret military projects. So when I desperately tried to get my research funded I talked to him and he said he’d get it funded but I’d have to shift the focus to weapon development. I told him, I’d think about it, cause working ft the military is shitty but not as shitty as having to work for something that’s not your thing at all. But then NASA replied and I turned Lorca’s offer down of course. And since then he’s been trying to bully me into doing it. Although I think by now it’s just his hobby. He hates me.”

His fingers had started toying with a old rainbow coloured bracelet around his wrist. It wasn’t very like Paul to wear something like that. Hugh wondered what it meant to him.

“Now you guys have to explain to me why the fuck he lived here.”

Tilly gave Hugh a look, so he started. “Lorca was Kat’s boyfriend and she brought him along a few times. He seemed nice, so no one had a problem with him staying here. But he turned out to be manipulative liar.”

“And he treated Kat very poorly, even cheated on her.”, Tilly added. “He’s terrible.”

“He treated all of us like shit.”, Hugh said. “He almost got you to quit the Discovery project.”

“Luckily one day we decided enough was enough and we kicked him out and told he to never show up here again. He went to the Discovery a few times, but we called the cops on him. By the way, you should talk to Kat. She can tell you what he’s allowed to do and as soon as he does anything else, call the cops. He’s way worse than you probably think right now.”

“What does he do?”, Hugh asked.

“He runs after me, invades my private space, searches my bags and pockets and just bullies me in every way he’s legally allowed to.”, Paul said. “I’ve reported him already, but all he got was a reproach. I splashed cold coffee in his face today. I really don’t want to think about him anymore, can we please just study, Tilly?”

Hugh gave her a worried look that she replied.

“Sure.”, she said. “What do you need?”

He got out his laptop and started asking questions.

Hugh made himself comfortable across them, a sketch block in his lap, to draw his two favourite scientists.

When he just started colouring Paul’s phone rang. Without looking at it Paul hung up, but soon it ran again. Paul made an annoyed noise and looked at his phone.

He groaned and hung up.

It rang again.

“Fucking hell. I blocked his number like 15 times now, why doesn’t it stay blocked?”, Paul snarled.

“Lorca?”, Hugh asked.

“Let me try block it.”, Tilly said taking the phone. “It says it’s blocked. Stupid phone, why can he call then?”

They tried to block his number, but eventually had to give up and just angrily stared at the ringing phone lying on the desk.

Suddenly Tilly grabbed it and answered.

“Listen up, fuck face! Yes, it’s me. You leave my friend alone right now, or I swear to god, next time the coffee someone splashes on you is gonna be so hot it melts your ugly face right off!” She hung up and slammed the phone back onto the table. She crossed her arms and stuck out her chin angrily.

Paul and Hugh just stared for a moment. Over all her cuteness they regularly forgot how badass she was.

They phone did not ring again.

“I love you.”, Paul just said, dropping his head onto her shoulder.

“W-What?”, she asked surprised, but then giggled. “Thanks.”

 

 

“Dinner?”

“I’m not hungry, thanks.”, Paul smiled.

Hugh frowned and put only one frozen pizza bread into the microwave. He kept getting more and more concerned for his boyfriend. But Paul was just sitting there on the counter, seeming calm and content, just a little too deep in thoughts maybe.

Hugh leaned in between his legs, resting his hands on his thighs. Paul blinked himself out of whatever thoughts he had been in and reached up to stroke the back of his head, smiling down at him.

“Can I ask you something?”, Hugh said.

“Sure.”, the blonde smiled.

“What’s up with the bracelet you’ve been wearing for the past two weeks?”

Paul bit his lips and looked down at it. “It belonged to Straal.”, he said with the smallest smile. “He got it when… not wait, that story stars earlier actually. He was looking for a room mate, I found his ad on the internet and we met. And for some reason he said I was funny and he’d like me to move in with him and as answer to that I said something that Straal likes to quote as ‘Okay, but I’m gay.’” He chuckled. “I just didn’t want to hide anymore and I was extremely anxious. But Straal just laughed and said ‘Cool, I’m not.’ and so I moved in with him. Two months later he dragged me to a pride parade. As I said I was anxious and I wasn’t too sure about waving rainbow flags around, but Straal told me I’d love it and I did. They handed out those bracelets there and while I lost mine, Straal just never stopped wearing it. He wore it for me.”

“A good friend.”, Hugh said.

Paul nodded. “He was my first real friend. My best friend.”

Hugh wrapped his arms around him.

“I’m okay.”, the blonde smiled, patting his back. “I just… I feel egoistic cause I’m clinging to all of Straal’s things that are about me and not about him. But of course his parents wanted to keep his stuff and so all they left me were the things they couldn’t connect to cause they were for me.”

“That’s not egoistic. Not at all.”, Hugh promised.

“Okay.”, Paul chuckled. “You can let go of me now and eat your pizza thingy.”

Hugh reluctantly did so and they returned to his room. Both of them sat down on the bed. Paul opened his laptop, just to change his mind and close it again.

“I’ve never really told you about Straal, have I?”, he asked.

“No, you haven’t.”, Hugh answered. What did it say about Paul that he suddenly wanted to talk about his dead flat mate? It was probably just healthy copying, so something good, right? Still Hugh had a weird feeling about it.

“Remember the poster on my door?”

“‘Pluto is a planet, fuck face’? Of course.”

“Straal’s first attempts to get me to find friends was introducing me to his group of friends and taking me with them from time to time. Someday someone made a joke, I don’t feel the need to repeat it, it wasn’t even that good, but the punchline was ‘and Paul is Pluto’. I was used to being the subject of jokes so I didn’t say anything, but Straal instantly said ‘Pluto is a planet fuck face’. It was way funnier than the actual joke and since you can interpret it pretty much any way Straal kept saying it all the time. He once answered a question in a lecture with it. It kinda became his slogan.

Also he made a lot of puns. Good ones. And sometimes they were so bad that they turned out good in the end. You could say the weirdest word and he’d instantly come up with a perfect and hilarious pun.

He was good at words. And incredibly bad at putting them in a row. He would mess up the most simple sentences, cause his brain was always about five sentences ahead.”

Paul got lost in thoughts, staring at the bracelet with a sad smile.

Hugh just watched him toying with the wristlet for a while, he didn’t want to interrupt him. But eventually he had to. He’d though just standing up, would startle Paul, but it didn’t. So he walked over and gently ran his hand over the side of his head. Paul looked up at him with a smile. Hugh smiled back, trying to hide his worry and bet down to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. He didn’t have the right words, but Paul appreciated honest silence just as much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: harassment, mention of death


	8. Heart attacks and pretty doctors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for TWs.

Paul frowned at his phone and answered the call.

“Hey, Kat? What’s up?”

“Paul. Where are you?”

Something was terribly wrong.

“On campus. What’s…?”, he tried to ask.

“Where?”, she insisted.

“I just left the side building on the right. What is going on?”, he asked scared.

Someone grabbed his wrist and pulled him along.

“Paul, we need to go.”

“What is going on?”

“I’m telling you in the car.”

Paul planted his feet in the ground. “Kat!”, he snapped, wringing his hand out of her grip. He needed to know now.

She stopped and turned to him with a sigh. “Please don’t freak out.”

He pulled up his brows helplessly.

“Hugh’s in the hospital.”

His heart dropped. “What?!”

“He’s most likely gonna be fine.”

“‘Most likely’? Kat, what happened?”

“Car.”, she ordered. He ran after her and they quickly got in her official car.

“Please.”, he begged for information.

“Tyler’s back on drugs.” She started driving. “He attacked Hugh and I don’t know how it happened but he somehow fell back and his his head on the pavement.”

“Is he gonna be okay?” He tried to stay composed.

“I… Paul, I… I can’t lie to you, I only know that they rushed him to ER with head injuries.”, she said, pretty upset herself.

For the rest of the drive, Paul nervously tapped with his feet and kneaded his hands, trying not to think, but it didn’t work too well.

He hadn’t had a panic attack in the last three months, but as they came closer to the hospital he felt one building up. His head was too empty and his chest painfully full.

But suddenly they were there and Kat pulled him along with her again. But this time, she was holding his hand, not only his wrist.

She seemed to know her way to the ER and the info point.

Paul felt like throwing up and all that made him keep going was the thought of Hugh being okay. Everything was so terribly similar to almost a year ago.

“Hi, we’re looking for Hugh Culber, he was brought in about 20 minutes ago.”

“Kat!”, Tilly said relieved and fell around Paul’s neck. 

Paul hugged Tilly tightly. “Can we go see him?”

“Not yet.”, she said excusing, letting go of him.

Kat thanked the nurse and they sat down across the door they weren’t allowed to open. Kat and Tilly talked, but Paul couldn’t listen. He just sat there, staring at his shoes. The smell was so disgusting he wanted to throw up and the light made him drowsy.

“Paul?”

Tilly’s hand on his shoulder made him jerk.

“Hey. He’s gonna be okay.”

Paul nodded and swallowed and the next thing he could apprehend was a doctor leaving the room.

All of them jumped up.

He smiled at them. “Is either of you Hugh Culber’s emergency contact?”

“That’d be me. Cornwell.”, Kat said.

“Doctor Novak.” He shook her hand. “You have some stuff to sign. And you are…”, he asked, doing the same to Paul and Tilly.

“Flat mate and boyfriend.”, she smiled nervously. “How is he?”

“He’s gonna be fine. We’ll keep him here until the evening and monitor him just to be sure, but it’s just a cut and a cerebral concussion. You can see him now.”

Kat followed the doctor, but Paul and Tilly entered the room and rushed to Hugh’s side.

He looked okay actually, just very tired and pale.

They sat down and Tilly wrapped an arm around Paul.

“You must have had a terrible shock.”

“I had.”, he laughed nervously and felt tears forming in his eyes. He took Hugh’s hand, being extra careful, because of the IV drip.

“Oh dear, I’m upset.”, he laughed, tears streaming down his face.

Tilly rubbed his back.

“Don’t cry, love, I’m fine.”, Hugh suddenly smiled.

Relief.

Paul did what came closest to a hug and buried his face in Hugh’s stomach. He felt his hand in his hair and Tilly’s still on his back.

“I’m terrible, I’m making this about myself.”, he realized. “You’re injured and I’m making this about me.”

“That’s only fair, cause you’re the most upset about it.”, Hugh smiled softly. “I’m fine, Paul. Tilly, how are you?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me. The ride on the ambulance was a little scary, lots of blood.”, she giggle nervously. “But they soon told me you were gonna be fine, so except for the little heart attack you gave me I’m okay.”

“What about Tyler?”

“Michael’s with him. And I called Saru to look after them.”

“Good, Tilly. Thank you.”

Time passed without Paul being able to think or notice the world around him. The only thing that mattered was his nose buried in Hugh’s stomach and the hand he felt in his hair. Kat joined and again her, Tilly and Hugh talked and Paul couldn’t concentrate enough to listen.

Only when the doctor entered he forced himself to sit up and pay attention.

“Hello, Hugh.” He hopped to the empty side of the bed

“Charlie.”, he laughed. “Good to see you again.”

“You could have just called me, it didn’t need a cerebral concussion and a cut.”, the doctor smiled.

Hugh laughed. “You got a nice job here.”

“Yeah, it’s great, you should join some time.”, he grinned. “We’re keeping you here for another three hours, just to monitor you and have you on the drip, but then you’re free to go. What do you do for a living now?”

“I rent my apartment to friends and work in her lovely coffee shop. You should drop by sometime.”, Hugh smiled.

“You own a coffeeshop? Oh, wow.”, he grinned at Tilly. “I didn’t introduce myself properly. I’m Charles Novak, I studied with Hugh, so just call me Charlie.”, he grinned, shaking her hand again. He seemed nice.

“I’m Sylvia Tilly, everyone calls me Tilly.”, she giggled.

“But Sylvia’s a nice name!”

Hugh snorted. “Can you not flirt with every human being you meet? What do your poor patients do?”

Charlie just grinned. “Are you scared I’m crushing on your dashing blonde? Hi, I’m Charlie.”

“Paul Stamets.”, he said shaking his hand again.

“Are you okay? You look a little frazzled.” Just like Hugh’s glance Charlie’s seemed to be able to see right into the depth of his soul.

“I’m okay.”, Paul lied quickly.

“I just gave him a little heart attack.”, Hugh smiled.

“Okay.” Charlie gave him another look but content himself with Hugh’s explanation. “My break starts and I really need it.”, he smiled. “I’ll see you all later, send a nurse if you need anything.”

All of them thanked him as he left.

Paul dropped his face onto Hugh’s stomach again.

“Paul, don’t you want to leave?”

“What?! No!”

“This place is doing you no good. Go to the flat, I’ll be back there in three hours.”

“No!”, Paul said. “I’m staying here with you! Don’t send me away!”

“I’m not sending you away, Paul, I’d never do that.”, Hugh calmy promised. “I’m just saying that you need a break from all of this. At least for ten minutes. Please do me a favour and get some fresh air for just ten minutes.”

Paul lifted his head. “Okay.” He tried to smile but the twitching corners of his mouth betrayed him.

“Do you…”, Kat asked.

“No, I’m fine.”, he said jumping up and leaving.

Right outside the doors of the ER there were benches. It was comfortingly cool.

Hugh had been right, Paul instantly felt a bit better. He wondered how he was not crying yet and why he even wanted to cry.

Paul silently sat down next to Charlie, who was smoking. He offered him a cigarette by holding out the box at him.

“Thanks.” Paul took one and Charlie held up the lighter for him.

“You don’t usually smoke.”, the doctor stated, when Paul blew out the smoke with a sigh.

Paul just raised his brows.

“Smokers tend to recognize other smokers.”, he smiled.

“You’re doctor.”, he stated.

“You’d think I’d know better, huh?”, he chuckled at his cigarette.

Silence.

“You worry too much, even for a boyfriend.”

“Probably.”

“Who was it?”

“What?”

“Who died of a tragic accident?”

“What- ? Why-?”

“Unfortunately being a doctor in the ER comes with being around dead and bereaved people.”

“My best friend. In 11 days it’s a year.”

 

 

Hugh woke up in the middle of the night. The first thing he felt was his hurting head. The second thing was jerking movement to his side.

“Paul?”, he asked. No answer. He seemed to be shaking with sobs. “Paul. Wake up, love.” He shook him a little with the arm he had wrapped around him.

Paul started from his sleep and gripped onto Hugh.

“It was nothing but a bad dream.”, he whispered, covering his forehead with kisses.

“Why are you awake?”, Paul muttered.

“Sleeping problems is a classical symptom for concussions.”, he just said. “And for several other things.”

“It’s just nightmares.”, Paul said. “The worry and the hospital stressed me, okay?”

“Okay.”, Hugh frowned, stroking his temple.

For the rest of the night Paul slept better. And during the day he was just lovely, taking care of Hugh; insisting he wouldn’t stand up, bringing him food and drinks, talking to him, listening to music with him, bringing his sketchbook and pencils and giving him his full attention.

Hugh let him, for now. Although Paul’s exams were coming closer, for a few days his happiness had to be more important.

The next day was even more fun.

Paul had an arm wrapped around him to stabilize him, cause Hugh’s sense of balance wasn’t back quite yet. Luckily the way to the kitchen wasn’t long.

“What is that mess here?”, Hugh chuckled as Paul helped him sit down at the table.

“It’s not a mess, it’s ingredients.”, Tilly said. “I want to sell make milkshakes. But to do that we first have to make recipes. I have a basic one here, but the point is to change it up a little.”

“Why are there donuts?”, Paul asked, taking a bite.

“To top them off.”, Tilly laughed. “With sweets and cream and stuff.”

“Groovy.”, Paul grinned with a full mouth. “I have no clue of this, let me try the easy one.” He snatched the recipe and instantly started mixing stuff together.

Hugh smiled happily. Sometimes Paul was extremely childish. Hugh had thought he probably had to make up for something but then told himself not to think about it. Paul was adorable being childish, so why bother the reason.

“Do you want to make a matcha one?”, Tilly asked. “I want a matcha one, strawberries, chocolate and marshmallows.”

“Yeah, I’m starting with matcha.”, Hugh smiled.

“Why would you put something as disgusting as green tea in something as amazing as milkshakes?”, Paul asked, licking ice cream off his fingers.

“Some people like green tea.”, Hugh replied. He made Paul try his mixture.

“Ew! Why would you drink that?” He grimaced, sticking out his tongue.

Hugh kissed him.

“Hugh! You taste of it!”

They laughed.

“Try my vanilla one instead.”

“Don’t drink all of it yet.”, Tilly warned. “You have to top it off first.”

Hugh started with whipped cream and artfully placed matcha kit kats on top.

“You can’t put a whole donut on top!”, Tilly laughed.

“I saw it on the internet. Watch me.”, Paul grinned, trying to balance a muffin on top of the donut. It fell off again.

“That won’t work.”, Hugh just said.

Paul just took a straw and stuck it through the muffin and the donut. It worked.

“I don’t study engineering for nothing.”, he grinned triumphantly before he started placing whipped cream on top. “Do we have sprinkles?”

Tilly handed him the chocolate ones. “Only those.”

“Good enough.”

“This shake is a mess.”, Hugh laughed.

“Hey! It might not be as aesthetically pleasing as yours, but it tastes amazing. Try.”

“Okay, admittedly it’s good.” Tilly said, with a mouth full of donut.

Hugh tried it too. He grinned and pecked Paul’s cheek. “It’s great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: panic attacks, injury, mention of death


	9. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for TWs.

Paul’s single bed had never felt as empty.

He turned around and got his phone. The light hurt his eyes in the darkness, but he managed to read the time. 4.30. Four hours of sleep. More than he had thought he’d get. He wouldn’t get anymore. He rubbed his dry, burning eyes. All of the pain that had caused him to cry himself to sleep last night, was now dull, more of a background static.

Wasn’t there supposed to be pain today? At least any feeling at all?

He just stared at the ceiling until he got himself to stand up and continue working. He had been studying for days straight, trying to distract himself. After a few days of spending with Hugh, the doctor had said what both of them knew; that Paul should go back to studying. Of course Hugh had not implied for Paul to go back to his flat, but that’s what he had done. For the sake of not getting distracted.

He made a cup of black coffee and forced it down.

The clock told him that around this time a year ago he had been running to the hospital.

His phone buzzed.

“Good morning, love. How are you?”

How was he? He didn’t really know.

So he leaned back in his chair to send a picture of his table covered in books and notes instead.

“I love you, smarty pants.”, came as reply.

“Smarty pants”. As if. He was terrified of his engineering exams already. He didn’t have the time to study as much as he would have wanted to. If there was only more time. Well, maybe there would be more time if he wouldn’t waste it texting. Hugh would still be there afterwards. Presumably at least.

“Gotta study, see you.”

His phone rang.

Paul was ready to answer to tell Hugh he didn’t have time, but it wasn’t him.

“Fuck off goddammit.”, he sighed helplessly, muting his phone to get rid of Lorca.

Back to studying.

 

 

“What’s the frown about?”, Tilly asked sitting down next to him.

Hugh looked up from his phone. “Do you think Paul is acting weird?”

“When was he here last time? That was like a week ago.”

“Yeah, and I was at his flat two days ago. Did he text you?”

“Only to ask questions for studying. Why?”

“I’m not sure, I…”, he scrolled through the messages of the last few days. “Maybe I’m interpreting to much into it, but his texting is really strange. And I’m pretty sure he was acting weird when I saw him last.”

“How?”, she asked, picking up on his concern.

“A little distanced and just… off.” He sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe I worry too much.”

“No, I noticed it too.”, Tilly said. “But I didn’t think too much of it. His exams are coming up, Lorca ran after him on campus again and… you didn’t see him in the hospital when we were waiting to see you. It really upset him.”

“But was ten days ago. And he didn’t leave my side for the next few days. Also he didn’t text back for the whole day, he never does that.”

“Visit him. Drop by and bring him coffee.”, Tilly suggested.

Hugh smiled at her. “What would I do without you.” Sometimes he forgot the most simple things. So he made coffee, filled it in thermo cups and made his way to Paul’s flat.

The closer he got, the worst his feeling about Paul became. Something was definitely wrong.

He rang the doorbell. A second time. Until Paul’s flat mate opened.

“Oh, hey.”

“Hi.”, he smiled. “Is Paul here?”

“Sure. You know the way.”

The door to Paul’s room was closed.

Hugh knocked.

“Paul?”

No answer. Maybe he was asleep? When he was working Paul had no sense of day and night.

He carefully opened the door. “Hey, Paul.” Paul was not in his bed or at his desk.

Hugh heart dropped. He was curled up on the floor against a wall.

He dropped his bag and rushed to hug him.

“God, Paul!”

Paul was violently jerking in his arms.

“Sh. Shh, Paul…”

“What the fuck are you doing here?”, he sobbed trying to push him away.

“I came to look after you. Paul, what…”

“No! No let go of me!”, he cried flailing and Hugh fully let go of him.

This was terrifying. Paul was shaking, his eyes were cried red and his face wet with tears.

“Paul, please, what…”

“No, you don’t understand! I’m horrible! I’m not… I’m sorry! I couldn’t…”

Hugh settled right in front of him and tried to stay calm.

“Whatever it is, I promise it’s not as bad as it might seem to you.”

He just curled up tighter, shaking his head.

“Paul, please.” He cursed his shaking voice. “Please let me help you.”

“I’m a terrible boyfriend. You couldn’t possibly not hate me. I’m horrible, I’m…”

“I could never hate you. I love you.”, Hugh promised. He reached out to gently touch Paul’s hair. “Paul.”, he almost whispered.

And as if there was something magical about his touch, the blonde eased a little and looked up.

“Please don’t hate me.”, he hiccuped. “I’m so sorry. I’m terrible. I… I… god, I’m so sorry, I ruined your drawing.”

“What? What did you do?”, Hugh frowned carefully.

Paul stuck out his left arm. Hugh felt tears bubbling up at the sight of the cut through the mushrooms. It hurt so much to see Paul in pain.

The blonde started sobbing again. “I’m so sorry, Hugh, god, I’m so sorry, please, please don’t… Hugh, please forgive me, I didn’t…”

“Come here.”, Hugh said, hugging him tightly.

“I didn’t… I didn’t want to… I didn’t pay attention to myself… I… I… it worked so well, for years and… and… even after Straal… but now… god, I’m so sorry.”

This time Paul sobbed into his chest and now that he couldn’t see it, Hugh allowed the tears to bubble out of his own eyes.

“It’s gonna be okay, Paul. I promise. I’m always there for you, okay? You know that, right? Always no matter what.”

“I’m so sorry, Hugh, I didn’t…”

“I know, Paul. Don’t worry, I know.”

Hugh held him tight and rocked him back and forth and talked and whispered and caressed and kissed him until he calmed down.

“That was your payback for the heart attack I gave you last week, huh?”, Hugh sniffed wiping his tears away before placing another kiss in Paul’s hair.

“I’m so sorry.”, he repeated, face still buried in his chest. “It’s just… Everything piled up. Lorca, finals, you in the hospital and… today’s Straal’s day of death.”

“God, Paul.”, Hugh sighed. That explained a lot. It was way too much to take for a single person to take. “Why didn’t you tell me? Fuck, I didn’t want to ask that, I’m sure you…”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”, Paul interrupted him, looking up.

“No, you’re only being self destructive.”, Hugh replied toneless.

“I’m so sorry. I really didn’t want to hurt you.”, he sniffed.

“I know, Paul. But you have to realize that I’m in pain when you are.” Hugh cupped his cheeks and wiped away the remaining tears with his thumbs. “Please let me help you.”

“I ignored the signs, I didn’t think it would get that bad, I’m sorry.”, he said.

“It’s okay.” Hugh kissed his forehead. “Will you get a therapist? I’ll help you.” It was probably not the right time to ask, curled up on the floor like that, but he needed to know that Paul would do that.

“Okay.”, Paul said, not too reluctant at all.

“Thank you.”

“No, thank _you_.”, he replied. “Can we go to your place please? I don’t want to stay here.”

“I wanted to suggest that.” He stood up and pulled Paul along. “Are you gonna be okay for now?”

He nodded and did his best to smile.

“Get your study stuff, I’ll pack some clothes. You took most of them with you when you left last time.”

Hugh made sure he didn’t have to return back here for a while. They ended up packing two bags, one with books and one with clothes. Hugh carried the heavy one with the books and they walked all the way back to Hugh’s flat.

The walk became Paul well. His movement became a little less robotic after a while. He stopped gripping onto Hugh’s hand as if his life depended on it, and just held it instead. And Hugh himself could ease a little too.

Back home he sent Paul to shower and went to meet Tilly in her room.

“Hugh, what’s up?”, she asked, jumping up.

“He cut.”, Hugh said quietly.

“Is he okay?”, Tilly asked shocked.

“On the way, yeah.”

“Good that we trusted your guts.”, she said, giving him a hug.

“I’m not sure what to do.”, he said honestly.

“Do you think he wants to do it again?”

“No, of course he doesn’t want to.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know if it will happen again.”, Hugh said. “He said it’s just that things piled up but… I mean we can help him with his problems but we can’t magically cure depression.”

“A therapist?”

“He already agreed on that, I just…”

“Hugh.”, she said and smiled a little. “You’re doing all you can. You're there for him. You can’t do more.”

He sighed. She was right, but he wasn’t happy with that. “Okay.”

“Are you okay?”, Tilly asked, touching his arm.

“Yeah, sure.”, he answered truthfully. He wasn’t exactly good, but okay.

“Let me know if you need anything.”, she smiled. What would he do without her.

“Thank you, Tilly. I should go back, he’s probably done by now.”

He was indeed.

Paul was lying in bed, curled up, eyes closed. He was wearing jogging pants and one of Hugh’s sweaters and his damp hair had already stained the cushion with water.

He looked peaceful.

Hugh sat down next to him and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Paul?”

He hummed.

“Would you let me disinfect it, please?”

Paul just stuck out his arm and let him clean the cut and put a bandaid over it.

“Thank you.”, he said when Hugh was done and curled back up again.

“No problem.”, he replied softly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just thinking.”, he muttered, eyes still closed.

“Okay.”, Hugh said. He just kept sitting there for a while, caressing Paul’s hair and watching him. But then he felt like thinking would do himself good too.

He seemed to be radiating his feelings cause eventually Paul asked “What are you doing?”

“I’m praying.”, Hugh smiled gently, opening his eyes.

Paul frowned up at him, interested. “Why?”

“Cause I’m makes me calm and helps me through hard times.”

“May I ask what you’re praying for?”

“I’m praying for you and Straal to find peace.”, he said softly. “And for me to always have the strength to be there for you. And for you to find happiness again.”

“That sounds nice. “, Paul said.

“It is. Do you want to join me?”

“Wouldn’t it be hypocritical? I don’t believe in god.”, he asked sitting up.

“You said you believe in the interconnectedness of things and that there’s… well, something. If you want you can try calling it god. God doesn’t equal an old man with a beard.”

Paul still seemed unsure. He definitely wanted to try, he had become interested, but he probably felt like he was invading Hugh’s private space. Or maybe… “Paul, are you scared of god?”

He stopped for a moment to think. “You got me there.”, he then said.

“Why do you fear him? Given he exists.”

“I… I guess I’ve been taught to and … I never felt like it was worth the work to teach myself otherwise.”

“Do you think god hates you?”

Again he needed a moment to think about that. “I don’t know.”, he then said. “I can’t be one of his favourites, but I hope he doesn’t hate me.”

“I don’t know about your parents’ god, but my god loves all people, especially good people like you.”, Hugh promised.

“But I don’t even believe in him.”, Paul frowned.

“That’s okay, he doesn’t mind. My god doesn’t have to be your god, but if you ever want to talk to him you can borrow him.”, he smiled. “He’ll be happy to hear from you.”

“I’ll give it a try.”, he replied. “What do I have to do?”

“Take my hands, close your eyes and think.”

“Aren’t there like certain words you have to say?”

“You don’t have to say them, god will listen anyways.”

“Your god sounds like a nice guy.”

Hugh chuckled a little. “That’s kinda the point of a god.”

Paul followed his instructions and they just sat there for a long time.

Everything was silent and calm.

But eventually Hugh opened his eyes again and gently squeezed Paul’s hands, for him to do the same.

Hugh’s prayers had been heard, cause a little of the usual light had already returned to Paul’s eyes.

“Thank you for sharing this.”, the blonde said quietly. “I don’t think I got the praying part right..” Hugh smiled. “..but I like the meditation and the thinking.”

“Thank you for trying it out.”, he said gently. “May I ask what you thought about?”

“Straal.”

“Did it help any?”

“Surprisingly enough it did.”, he smiled.

“I’m glad.”, Hugh said.

“I still don’t believe in your god, I guess it’s just not my thing but… would you thank him from me for letting me try?”

“Sure.”, Hugh smiled. He felt a few tears bubbling up again, he wasn’t sure why. But he didn’t want Paul to see so he pulled him into a hug.

“I love you more than anything, Paul.”

“I know, Hugh. I love you too.”, he smiled softly.

 

 

“What are you doing?”, Hugh chuckled.

“What does it look like?”, Paul replied, staring in the mirror in concentration.

“Are you cutting your hair?”

“Yes. I’ve always cut my hair myself. Since I’m 15.”, he smiled. “Don’t you cut your hair yourself too?”

“Yeah, but that’s just shaving. How do you do the back?”

“Spatial orientation, love.”, he said. “I feel the length with my fingers.”

“Show off.”, Hugh smiled. “Want me to do the back? I’d be faster.”

“Sure.” He sat down on the toilet backwards and Hugh started cutting his hair.

“How are you?”

“I’m okay.”, Paul smiled. Even now Hugh was still worried for him.

“Is studying going well?”

“Yeah, it’s going good. Also I haven’t thanked you yet for telling Michael my last subject yesterday so she’d pick me up.”

“It was her idea actually.”

“A good idea. We met Lorca, he hit on Michael like crazy, but she didn’t take any of his shit.”

“She should pick you up more often.”

“No, that’s way too much effort.” He was a burden to all of them already.

“We’ll just take turns.”, he said. “They wouldn’t mind picking you up at all. Actually they’d love to spend more time with you, you know?”

Sometimes he wondered if Hugh could read thoughts.

“I love all of them. Except for Tyler.”, he had to add.

“He’s now at the rehab center anyways.”, Hugh said. “It’s not his fault, Paul.”

“He could have killed you.”, he snapped.

“We’ll never agree on that.”, he sighed. “You guys should have a talk when he’s back.”

“We won’t agree on that either.”, he just said. He would never understand how Hugh could take this so lightly.

“Done.”, Hugh just said.

Paul ruffled his hair to shake out the remaining ends. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”, he smiled. “I like that you left it a little longer in the front.”

Paul grinned. He had only taken a little from the front, cause he knew how much Hugh loved his hair. And the least he deserved, was his boyfriends white blonde hair long enough to properly tangle with his fingers.

There he was already nuzzling his nose into Paul’s wet hair.

“I love your hair.”, he sighed. “Especially when you steal my shampoo.”

“Sorry.”, he grinned, leaning back into his touch. “I should change my shirt, all the hair got into it.”, he teased. He stood up, turned around and took it off. He wasn’t very graceful while taking off clothes, (Hugh looked like a model doing basically anything) but his boyfriend couldn’t take his eyes of him. Nor his hands. He squeezed Paul’s side and pulled him into a kiss.

“How do you look more handsome every time I see you?”, Hugh asked and Paul laughed. He would have never dared to even dream of being complimented by such a beautiful man.

“...said the man with the insane muscles.”, he just chuckled poking his abs. “I’m making up with being funny.” He pecked Hugh’s nose and made his way back to his room. “I want to wear one of your funny shirts. Where’s the one with William Shatner’s face on it?”

Hugh laughed. “Well, where did you put it last time you wore it?”

“I don’t know, I… ah!” He found it lying on the couch and put it on. “Oh, oh wait! Idea! Tilly!”, he ran off to her room.

“What’s up?”, she asked. “Oh, nice hair.”

“Thanks, we just cut it.”, he grinned. “Now that there’s a mess in the bathroom, didn’t you want to have a side cut?”

Her eyes lit up. “Yes!” She jumped up. “Let’s go.

So she sat down on the toilet like Paul had done it before and Hugh parted the strand of hair off.

“Make a braid.”, he ordered Paul.

“Do you realize how much hair that is?”, the blonde asked, holding the finished braid in front of Tilly’s face. He planned on jokingly whining about her decision to get a sidecut, cause all of them knew it would look amazing.

“It’s okay, I’ll sacrifice it for coolness.”, she grinned.

Hugh handed her the scissors but she handed them over to Paul. “You do it.”

“What? No!”

“I can’t do it, you have to do it!”

“I can’t do it either!”

“Do it!”, she ordered. So he took the scissors and placed them over the braid.

“Can I look away?”

“No, you’re gonna cut off my ear! The point is that  _ I  _ can look away.”

“Okay.”, Paul grinned. “Ready?”

“Do it already.”, Hugh laughed.

“What he said, come on!”, Tilly added.

So Paul cut off the braid.

“Oh god.”, Tilly giggled, feeling the short hair.

He held up the braid for her with a grin.

“Oh god!”, she repeated.

“Look at the hair!”, Paul said over-exaggeratedly dramatic.

Tilly just raised a brow and held her hair out of the way, so Hugh could properly shave the spot.

“So much hair!”, he continued whining, waving the braid around.

“Shut up!”, she laughed over the noise of the razor, trying to hit him.

“Hold still! Or there’ll be more hair gone than you want.”, Hugh warned.

“Make your boyfriend shut up.”, Tilly replied with a grin.

“Paul...”

“But the hair!”, Paul insisted and laughed.

“Finished.”, Hugh said. “You can continue to annoy us.”

“This is exciting.”, Tilly giggled and turned around.

Paul shrieked. “Oh my god, you look so fucking cool! Look in the mirror!” He couldn’t help but jumping up and down.

“Oh my god, I do look fucking cool!”, Tilly too shrieked when she saw herself. Then she took Paul’s hands and joined him jumping up and down. She screeched so he screeched too and they hopped around screaming. 

“What the fuck.” Kat stood in the door frame, still in her full uniform, looking so confused they had to laugh so hard they couldn’t talk. They just stood there, bent over holding onto each other wheezing.

So Kat turned to Hugh, who was only grinning to himself.

“You got yourself into something there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: mental health issues, depression, self-harm (not only talking about it! so be careful please) and internalized homophobia (Paul has a pretty bad backlash.)


	10. Captain Lorca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs at the end.

“Hello.” Tilly hugged him. “Don’t turn around, those weird soldier guys have been standing there the whole time, they look so dubious I bet they belong to Lorca. Let’s just… oh no they’re coming.”

He turned around.

“Paul Stamets?”

“What do you want?”, he frowned.

“The captain wants to talk to you.”, one of the soldiers replied.

“What do you think this here is? An arrest or what?”, he snapped.

“Let’s not make it one.”

“What the… you can’t do that. Can they do that?”, he asked Tilly.

“Just come with us.”, the soldier said.

He gave Tilly a helpless stare. “Alright.”, he sighed and followed them. He knew Tilly was instantly gonna call Kat, still this was scary.

“Hey, Paul.”, Lorca grinned and gestured him to come inside his office.

“What do you want?”, he asked crossing his arms, but entering. He was gonna be humiliated, he didn’t need random students or Lorca’s soldier friends watching.

“I was just about to…” He locked the door.

“What the fuck.”, Paul said.

“We don’t want to be interrupted.”, he replied innocently. Paul couldn’t really object, he had left the key in. Still.

Paul hated the tone we was talking in. It was Lorca’s awful “Come on, we’re friends.” kind of way, that made Paul’s stomach turn. It meant nothing good.

“What do you want now?”

He gestured Paul to sit down. Like hell he would. He ignored it. So Lorca sighed, crossed his arms for his part and leaned back against the table.

“How’s engineering going?”

“Great.”, he said warily.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”, he repeated.

“You sure?”

“Yes!”, he snapped. “What do you want?”

“And astrophysics? Graduation and stuff?”

“Fucking great. What do you want from me?”

“How’s it going with the doctor?”

“That’s it. I’m leaving.”, Paul said, his voice calm but angry. But before he could leave, Lorca quickly stepped between him and the door.

“Hey, hey, hey, Paul. Wait a moment.”

“Step out of the way.”, Paul threatened.

Lorca opened his arms. “Come on, Paul.”, he smiled, tipping his head. God, how Paul hated this smile. The captain made it look as if he was acting silly.

“Get out of my fucking way.”, he repeated more angry.

Lorca didn’t, challenging him with his eyes.

Paul was sick of it.

“Let me go!”, he said loudly, pushing Lorca.

Lorca was obviously angry, but staying calm. “Sit down.”, he ordered.

“What…”

He grabbed his collar and pushed him into the chair. “Sit the fuck down!”

Now Paul was seriously scared. “What you are doing is illegal on so many levels! I’m calling Katrina!”, he took out his phone and started typing. It was a bluff, he didn’t need to call her, she was on her way already, but hopefully it would intimidate Lorca. “She’s gonna…”

“The hell you’re gonna do.”, Lorca said, bashing the phone out of his hands. Intimidating had obviously not worked.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”, Paul shouted, hoping that someone outside would hear. Kat would be here soon for sure, but Lorca was getting seriously frightening.

“What the fuck is wrong with  _ me _ ?”, he repeated loudly. “The fuck is wrong with  _ you _ ! You have no respect for authority, refuse to call me captain, pour coffee over me and now you’re attacking me?”

Paul couldn’t help but laugh. This was equally terrifying and ridiculous. “I’m forced to defend myself against you, cause you’re…”

“Who cares?”, Lorca shouted, rolling his eyes. “Katrina, that sad excuse of a captain can’t help you. The point is not what you do or I do. The point is who people will believe.”

He was standing so close, Paul couldn’t escape without pushing him again and he’d rather not do that, it would probably put him in serious troubles. And Lorca was right.

“So on one hand we have me, a renowned captain and war hero, who risked his life for this country. And then there’s you.”

Paul forced himself to stay still. His heart was beating too fast and he prayed that he didn’t look as scared as he was. He tried to brace himself for what Lorca would say. The captain knew him better than he’d have liked him to and his insults would definitely be hurtful.

“A pathetic little scientist, who’s either too stubborn or too dumb to accept what’s good for him. You know how pathetic you are: you cut yourself!”

Paul could feel himself shaking and growing weak with the emotions he was holding in.

“You’re not the smartass everyone thinks you are, the future NASA scientist. You are nothing but a dumb little whining boy, who likes to take it up his ass.”

“Let me go!”, Paul gasped, starting an attempt to get away. He got out of the chair, but no further cause Lorca gripped onto his arm.

“Will you fucking stay!”

Paul halfheartedly tried to free himself. “I’ll fucking report you!” It didn’t sound threatening at all.

“No one cares if I hold you until your arm bruises or if I punch you in the face.”, Lorca said, staring at him. “You’re mentally ill, you’re definitely a danger to yourself and also to this university if I say so.”

Now Paul gave all he could to escape Lorca’s grip. He flailed around, tried to punch or kick or just somehow get away, but he had no chance. The next moment he was lying on the floor. Lorca had grabbed his hair and just hit his face right against the table. His knees had given in to the sudden pain all over his head.

He felt hot blood pouring on the fingers that were protecting his face. And then he heard the door crashing open and tried to quickly get up for the sake of not being humiliated, but his hurting and spinning head didn’t let him get further than sitting up. It didn’t matter anyways, cause it was Kat who entered. She had her gun out and it took only a single glimpse at Paul for her to point it at Lorca.

“Show me your hands.”, she ordered him.

“Come on, Kat.”, he smiled, tipping his head and raising his hands just a little.

“Behind the head, you know the drill.”, she said coldly.

He sighed, annoyed and still somehow aloof and did as she said. “You don’t really want to arrest me, do you, Kat?”

“You just punched a student.”, she pointed out in disgust and took his gun out of his belt

“He attacked me first.”, he said calmly.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Gabriel?!” She breathed in, trying to contain her anger and and cuffed him. “Gabriel Lorca, I’m arresting you for assault. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.” She pushed him outside. Paul just sat there, leaning back against the table. His eyes wouldn’t focus properly. It was very hard to perceive what was happening in general, voices where the easiest thing.

“I want all of your duty passes.”, Kat ordered, probably to the soldiers outside. “Follow orders! I outrank all of you!”, she snapped. “And call an ambulance. Now! Come on!”

And suddenly Tilly was by his side.

“Oh my god, Paul! Okay, lie down. Fuck. Fuck!”, she blurted.

“I’m okay.”, he muttered. Now that he was using his mouth he noticed how much blood was in it and consistently running down his gullet. He felt sick.

“Lie down on your side or you’re gonna throw up.”, she told him again, and carefully helped him to do so.

“I need my phone.”, he realized. “It’s gotta be lying around somewhere.”

“Paul, are you..?”

“I started a voice note before he hit it out of my hands.”, said, concentrating on talking comprehensible, despite the pain moving caused.

“Oh!” Tilly returned seconds later with the phone and the saved voice note. “Bless your smart brain!”

“I bet he said something illegal.”, Paul smiled weakly.

“We’ll get that bastard fired.”, she promised. “Can you imagine the heart attack I got when we hear you crying out and that terrible noise. Are you okay?”, she asked worried.

“Yeah.”, he smiled, just as much as the pain in his face allowed him to. “Just a little shocked and in pain.”

“Okay.” She gently stroked his upper arm and the sensation distracted him a little. In the ambulance he got mild pain killers that helped a little, but the emergency workers couldn’t do more than fixating his head so he wouldn’t move, cause apparently there was potential for danger for the brain and they’d rather have a doctor look at it. Although Paul felt physically okay, he was moved inside on a gurney. The ER wasn’t less scary as a patient, but he had more important things to worry about.

“Hello, Paul.”, Charlie calmy smiled down at him, helping to pull the gurney along. “Should Tilly join or wait here for Hugh?”

“Please wait for Hugh.”, he said, looking at Tilly. “I don’t want him to get a heart attack.”

So she stayed behind.

“I think you already gave him one.”, the doctor said. When the emergency workers had placed the gurney in the treatment room, he thanked them and they left.

It got much calmer and more quiet and Paul felt a wave of relief.

“What happened?”, Charlie asked, starting to examine the injuries.

Paul winched at the pain, but tried to distract himself with talking. “I got my face hit against a desk.”

“How come?”

“I insulted a guy with a way too big ego and he basically grabbed my head and smashed it on the tabletop.”

“Oh dear. Did you call the cops?”

“No, well, yeah, Kat’s a cop, she...” He hissed at the unexpected pain of being touched around the eye. “Do I have bruises there?”, he asked.

“Two black eyes.”, Charlie stated.

“I must look terrible.”, he chuckled.

“You do, but you’re gonna be okay.”, the doctor smiled. “Also you got blood all over you. You’re getting an IV drip for that by the way. And for the pain.”, he explained, when the nurse busied herself with Paul’s left hand.

“Other than that…” He was interrupted by Hugh and Tilly.

“God, Paul!”, Hugh blurted rushing to his side.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay.”, Paul smiled softly.

“Paul, I can’t possibly not worry, you got blood all over you and your nose…”, he sighed with a frown. He gently ran his fingers through Paul’s hair. “How is he?”, he asked Charlie.

“Mild skull fractures and a broken nose. But you were lucky, a few millimeters further and the palatine bone would have pierced your cerebral cortex.”

“Groovey.”, Paul sighed. “I don’t know how this doctor stuff works, but that sounds like I could have died.”

“With some bad luck, yes.”, Charlie frowned.

“Great, I need that signed. For court or whatever… however this works...” He realized how tired he was. His eyes were about to just fall shut.

“Okay sure.”, Charlie said, lifting his brows. “The guy sounds like he deserves it. We’ll keep you here for a day or two.”, he patted his shoulder. “But first I’m sending you to the third floor to put a cast on your nose. They’ll put you asleep and move all the broken pieces back in the right place.”

“You can put a cast on a nose?”, Paul muttered.

“Yes. And it’ll heal totally straight, your face will be just a pretty as before.”, he grinned. It made Hugh smile a little too and the last remains of tension left Paul.

Charlie clicked his tongue. “Don’t fall asleep just yet, you need a cast first or nose will stay like this.”, he smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: violence, injury, homophobia, mental health issues, mention of selfharm.  
> This chapter is pretty rough; Lorca hurts Paul in every way there is. He says some pretty terrible things about being gay and having mental health issues. I really made him the worst person you could possibly think of, so if that sounds like it might upset you, please be careful, I really don't want to ruin your day :)


	11. Scrubs, tequila and a happy family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for TWs.

“Good morning.”, Charlie smiled. His white coat was always waving for some reason, which made him look really cool. Not that he wouldn’t look cool without it. “How are we doing?”

“Good actually.”, Paul said.

“Yeah? Let’s move the bed up, if your head is higher than your legs the swelling will go down.” He pressed the button on the side and so moved Paul in a sitting position. “Any weird feeling from the anastatic left, or did it go away overnight?”

“I think so, yes.”

“Great. How’s the pain on a scale from one to ten?”

“Like…3, when I’m not moving. That’s okay.”

“Yeah, it’s normal.”, he said with an excusing smile. “It’s not the strongest painkillers, we don’t wanna drug you up with morphine. Anything else? I suspect you’re gonna have a visitor soon?” He winked.

“Michael’s coming over actually, Hugh’s still asleep, I think. You shouldn’t have let him stay here that long.”, he giggled.

Charlie laughed. “Mind me staying a little? I got ward shift, checked on all my patients, so unless something happens, I got nothing to do but sitting around.”

“Sure, me neither.” The doctor was a very welcome distraction.

He angled the leg of the nearest chair with his foot and pulled it closer to sit down on.

“Hugh’s art is getting better and better.”, he smiled, gesturing at Paul’s arms.

“Yeah, it’s amazing.”, he replied proudly.

“Why are those on your arms? Why mushrooms I mean?”

“I’m mycologist.”

“That’s a thing?”

“Yes, it’s mushroom studies.”

“Yeah, I know, but I didn’t know you could study that. It sounds cool. What do you do with that?” His genuine interest in people’s passions clearly showed him as a friend of Hugh. Or were all doctors like this?

“I’ll finish studying physics this year, well, hopefully at least, and again hopefully, if I don’t fuck up my paper I’ll work for NASA.”

“Seriously? Oh wow! What’s your paper on?”

“It’s a theory, my theory, on how a mycelium network, can and does exist on a quantum level.”

“That’s impressive.”, he said. “Probably a stupid question for someone with your knowledge, but are there actually blue mushrooms? They look pretty damn cool.”

He chuckled. “Yes, there are.” He elaborated on them for a while until he realized: “I talk too much.”

“No, it’s interesting!”, the doctor insisted.

“But do you realize the opportunities I’m missing? You studied with Hugh, I want to hear funny stories.”, he grinned.

“Oh, where to start?”, the doctor laughed. “One of the notable things is that we didn’t know each other’s name for half a year, even though we spent quite a lot of time together.”

“How come?”

“We were in the same internship group. You know when students try to diagnose real patients for practice? Well, the doctor responsible for us was a specialist in diagnostics and everyone called him Doctor House, cause he was like exactly him, just without the limp. Even his colleagues and everyone, they called him House. He didn’t care about our names, he just called us the names of House characters.”

“Who were you both?”

“Hugh was Chase and I was Wilson.”

Paul laughed. “Chase? Really?”

“Gay and pretty.”, he grinned.

“True. And you were Wilson cause you had the hots for House?”

Now it was on Charlie to laugh. “No I didn’t. I was just the only one who didn’t bitch around all the time.”

“Wait. Chase bitches all the time.”

He nodded meaningfully.

“Oh god, tell me everything!”

“Nah, that’s just the average god complex medical people have from time to time. The way better stories are about us getting drunk. Have you seen him drunk before?”

“We’ve gotten drunk together one time.”

“Did you see how much he drank? He can drink so much! I can’t remember a single time he didn’t win our drinking games. He drank twice as much as everyone else and was still the first one up every morning. Does he still get up an hour earlier to go running?”

“Yes, he does.”, Paul smiled. “I mean it’s nice cause he doesn’t get those muscles from nothing, but it’s still a little selfish that he let’s me wake up alone so often.” A realisation hit him. “Wait, we’re you and Hugh- no, sorry that’s necessary personal and...”

“We were not.”, he laughed. “You think I wouldn’t have told you that? No, just good friends.”

“Oh.”, Paul said blushing cause that question had been really stupid.

“I mean not that I would have wanted to.”, the doctor joked. “I’m kidding. But for real, you got yourself a hot boyfriend there. How long have you been together?”

“It’s gotta be about 5 months now.”, he said happily.

“Nice.”, he smiled. “It’s great to see you both. Hugh looks very happy.”

Paul blushed a little and Charlie grinned.

“You look terrible, Paul.”, Michael said, entering. “Good morning, Doctor.”

“Good morning.”, he replied, standing up.

“Thanks.”, Paul chuckled. “I’m okay though, I have my IV drip with painkillers here.” He waved with his left hand. “They just make me a little drowsy. Is is the cast in the middle of me face?”

“No, it’s the greenish black around your eyes.”, Michael replied.

“Oh, it’s turned greenish?”, he smiled.

“Yes, and it makes your face look grey.”, she said.

“I’ve seen worse.”, Charlie smiled.

“That’s your job, Charlie.”, Paul replied.

“Yes, by the way…”, he pointed at the door. “I should probably be doing something. See you later.”

“Bye, doc.”, he smiled.

Michael placed her backpack on the empty chair and opened it. “Greetings from Tilly.”, she then smiled, handing  him a thermo-cup. “And I here are your clothes.”

“Thank you so much! Hospital gowns are itchy!”

 

 

 

Admittedly graduation dresses were kinda weird. But Paul had definitely not looked bad in it. Hugh had made a mental note to make him wear darker colours more often, those really suited him.

There had been lots of small talk, hand shaking and a very nervous Paul. He couldn’t sit or stand still until after the ceremony. The all of them had cheered for Paul when he received his doctoral hood and he had grinned at them.

Afterwards there had been lots of hugs and a proud kiss on the cheek from Hugh.

And now they were pregaming in a bar. 

“Are you trying to get me drunk?”, Hugh laughed, when Paul handed him another beer.

“Yes.”, he grinned. He was already on tipsy, which mainly manifested in lots of giggling. “I know you don’t get drunk easily, Charlie told me everything.”

“Everything?”, he asked raising a brow.

“What are you thinking of?”

“The story with the body shots.”

“Body shots?”

“You know, when you drink tequila out of belly buttons and…”

“I know what body shots are! What’s the story?”, Paul interrupted.

“Lots of people getting to taste the belly button of twenty year old me.”, Hugh laughed.

Paul seemed to be having very mixed feeling about that; he laughed and buried his face in Hugh’s shoulder with a groan.

“What did you do?”, Tilly asked.

“I told him about body shots on me.”

“We’re going home.”, she stated. “I’m tipsy, he’s tipsy and you’re gonna have another beer then your tipsy too. And then we’re gonna get drunk and do body shots.”

So they went home and got drunk. First they played beer pong, girls against guys (the girls won), then they watched two episodes of Game of Thrones with a drinking game 

“You up for body shots?”, Tilly slurred.

Paul groaned and hid his face in his hand.

“Strip!”, Kat told Hugh. “Strip! Strip! Strip!”

Everyone joined in until Hugh got up, rolled his hips and took off his shirt. They cheered.

“I’m getting the tequila!”, Tilly shouted.

Kat pulled Paul along and they went to the kitchen. Hugh lied down on the table.

“Here!” Tilly dropped the alcohol, salt and a few lemons next to Hugh stomach. She talked way too loud when she was drunk.

“So first the tequila.”, Kat slurred pouring some into Hugh’s belly button.

“It’s so cold! Ahh!”, he whined.

“Shhhhhhh…” Tilly placed a finger on his lips.

“Where do you want the salt?” Kat asked. “Imma do the chest. Tilly, Give the knife to Michael, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”, Satu ordered.

So Michael sliced open the lemon and handed a piece to Paul.

“Do it!”, Tilly slurred.

“What’s the right order?”

“Tequila, salt..”

“No, first salt then…!”

“Nonononononono,you have to…”

“Just do it already!”, Hugh screamed laughing.

A second later he felt Paul’s lips sucking on his belly button, his tongue on his chest. The blonde had squeezed his eyes shut and bit into the lemon. He shrieked, then swallowed and laughed. The others cheered.

Hugh reached up to grab Paul’s face and pull him into a passionate kiss. Paul tasted of salt and lemon and it was wonderful.

“Move, Paul! It’s my turn!”, Kat slurred.

“No!”, Paul whined, grabbing onto Hugh. “He’s mine!”

“Learn to share!”, Tilly said.

 

 

 

“Hugh!”, Paul screamed. “Hugh, come here!”

They bumped into each other in Hugh’s room, cause Paul had already jumped up to go find him. He shoved his laptop at him.

Hugh took one look at the e-mail and knew what this meant. “ _ Dear Mr Stamets. After consideration… _ bla bla… _ extraordinary paper… we would like to offer you a laboratory in our local research centre!  _ They took you!” He dropped the laptop onto the bed to hug Paul tightly. The blonde had watched him read with a wide grin. “God, I knew it! I knew my smarty pants could do it!”, he took his face and smooched his cheek.

“Thank you for believing in me.”, Paul smiled softly, stroking his sides.

“Of course, love.”, he said stroking his cheeks. They just stood there, looking at each other for a while, until Hugh said: ”Let’s go to the Discovery and tell Tilly.”

So they made their way there. Paul couldn’t stop grinning, it was adorable. All the way Paul told him about his plans. As always he excitedly gestured, but he didn’t want to let go of Hugh’s hand, so he tried to restrict himself to one hand, failing. Hugh just let his hand be pulled around and laughed a little. His partner was just lovely.

“Hey, guys.”, Tilly smiled.

“Guess what.”, Paul said. He didn’t get to say something cool like he had definitely intended cause Tilly screamed: “You’re a NASA scientist!”

He just grinned proudly.

“Have a look at the new menus.”, she smirked, handing him one.

Hugh read it too, looking over his shoulder. “The design came out very nice.”, he said, to not spoil the surprise Tilly had prepared.

“I love the breakfast club milkshakes”, Paul said and went on reading. “ _ The brain (vanilla), the athlete (macha), the basket case (dark chocolate), the princess (strawberry), the criminal (marshmallow) _ and… wait.  _ the scientist (space) _ ? What is that?”

Tilly grinned and presented him the milkshake. The vanilla mixture was dyed bright blue. On top was a galaxy glazed donut and a muffin with star sprinkles. And all of that was topped off with whipped cream, star decorations, more sprinkles and a sparkler, which Tilly now lightened up.

Paul looked close to crying of happiness, so Hugh wrapped an arm around him and kissed his temple. They watched the sparkler burn out.

“I love you, Tilly!”, Paul then said and quickly walked around the counter to hug her tightly. “Thanks for being my friend.”

“Thanks back.”, she smiled excitedly, hugging back.

Hugh watched them happily.

“Come on, join in!”, Tilly laughed.

He chuckled and joined the hug. They all held onto each other tightly and happily, swaying a little.

“Guys?”, Paul asked quietly.

“Hm?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for being my family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: mention of injury, alcohol


	12. Photos and endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No TWs, just fluff.

“Sneak hug.” Paul wrapped his arms around him from behind.

“Hi.”, Hugh smiled. “You got reason to be proud of me, smarty pants, I managed to connect my phone to the printer.”

“I’m very proud, Hugh.”, he said a little ironically. “You’re right though, the printers in stores are terrible.”

Hugh chuckled and starting to scroll through the photos.

“There’s the one  Michael took during our first movie night.”, Paul smiled and selected it.

Going through their shared time was wonderful. There were many pictures of them, laughing, sleeping, posing ridiculously, caught off guard, dancing, kissing,...

“I kinda got a surprise for you.”, Hugh said.

“What is it?”, Paul smiled.

“We’ll have to print the pictures two times, my mum is flying over from New York in three weeks.”

“Oh.”. Paul blushed a little.

“Don’t worry, she’s gonna love you.”, he smiled.

“I hope so.” He smirked a little. “You’re really making use of the two months you got left as a bohemian.”

“I’m just staring a job.”, Hugh laughed.

“The hospital is gaining queer doctors.”, Paul chuckled.

He smiled. “By the way work: will you every wear anything but NASA shirts a again?”

“It’s work clothes!”, Paul grinned proudly.

Hugh huffed a smile. He loved his scientist.

“Oh, wait, that one!”, Paul tapped one of the pictures that one of his colleagues had taken during his first week in the lab. On it he was wearing a lab coat, safety goggles were in his hair and he was laughing from the depth of his heart. “And that one.” He pointed at one of Saru’s beautiful snaps of them slow dancing. “I want to send those to my parents.”

Hugh needed a moment to process that. “Are you ready to start that all over again?”, he asked carefully.

“I’m not starting anything.” He smiled softly, replying to Hugh’s obvious worries. “They’re not gonna write back and I don’t want them to. I just… I’m happy and have a well paid job and a wonderful family. I want them to know that…” He was lacking words.

“That you’re well.”, Hugh gently finished for him. “I know what you mean.”

“My therapist approves.”, Paul chuckled lightening the mood. “Oh, by the way, I moved the appointment on saturday to one pm so we can pick up the last box from my apartment to finish with that and we’ll still have enough time to decorate for Tilly’s surprise birthday party.”

“Good, cause we all agreed that you’re going to label things. You have the nicest handwriting.”, Hugh grinned.

“It’s a mystery to me how anyone can even read my handwriting!”, he laughed. “But fine. It’s your own fault.”

“Do we have enough pictures?”

“I think we do.”

Hugh pressed the green button and the machine started printing.

They waited.

Hugh pulled Paul into a gentle hug, that was instantly replied.

“What are you thinking about?”, Paul asked.

He smiled. “I’m taking a moment to consciously appreciate the wonderful man I get to call my partner.”

Paul huffed a soft giggle into his shoulder. “Love you.”, he said. He was so soft and warm and so so happy.

“I love you.”, Hugh smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...... that's it.  
> If you liked it, please consider leaving a comment, I'm very happy to hear from you and/or talk :D  
> I hope you enjoyed reading and thanks for sticking through till the end :)

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a short story inspired by the prompts "It's just a scratch, really." and "I wanted to make you breakfast." (that's why they don't meet the canon way.)  
> But it kind of got out of hand and became this huge thing.


End file.
